The Wrong Psychotherapist

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It is difficult to find a website on psychological topics or a page of a specialist providing psychological assistance that does not contain material about what the right psychotherapist should be. I decided to start from the opposite and tell readers how to determine incompetent specialist.

Look closely, if your therapist is wrong

The characteristics listed below are important practical criteria for the competence of the psychotherapist. If you notice any of the described phenomena in the process of receiving psychological help, then this is a serious reason to think about your psychologist or psychotherapist: is he competent enough to help you.

But still, beware of making any decision right away. The first step is to discuss your concerns with your therapist. Try to be open about what is baffling you. A good therapist will be ready to understand your concerns. If the consultant does not take your doubts seriously or does not want to accept feedback, albeit negative, then most likely it is in your interests to look for another specialist for himself. Most competent psychotherapists have good intentions and are willing to take responsibility for their failures. It often happens that your dissatisfaction with a specialist is the content that has more to do with you than not with him. Then the discussion of this material within the psychotherapeutic process becomes even more important.

The following list contains items that differ in importance. Some of them describe extremely serious violations of ethical norms, for example, when the therapist tries to impose sexual relations on his patient. There are things that are never, under any circumstances, an exception to the rule.

But there are still exceptions. The context and objective conditions for the provision of psychological assistance are important. Try to talk to your psychologist about all your doubts and demand from him a clear formulation of the ethical principles by which he is guided.

So, let the following worry you:

1. The specialist does not have sufficient education and special training to solve your problems or undertakes to solve problems that go beyond his competence. Example: A psychologist with no medical education recommends taking certain medications.
2. The therapist is not interested in the changes that you have planned for yourself and does not support the goals that you set in your psychotherapy. The goals of psychotherapy are always subject to agreement between its participants.
3. The specialist is not able to explain to you how psychotherapy can help you solve the problems that led you to it.
4. The psychotherapist does not explain by what signs you will understand that the process is coming to an end, does not justify the terms of psychotherapy predicted by him.
5. The psychologist does not approve of your interactions with other professionals helping professions. Example: A psychologist is negative about the fact that you are consulting with a psychiatrist about drug treatment.
6. The therapist makes guarantees or promises.
7. The specialist does not provide you with information about your rights as a patient, does not explain the terms of confidentiality, the rules of appointments and payments, the policy of cancellation of appointments.
8. The therapist displays prejudice or criticism of your behavior, lifestyle, and the worries that you brought into psychotherapy.
9. The therapist looks down at you, communicates with you as if you were inferior.
10. The psychologist blames your family members, friends, or partner.
11. The therapist encourages you to blame your family members, friends, or partner.
12. The psychotherapist, consciously or unconsciously, satisfies his personal needs in the process of psychotherapy with you. Example: a specialist satisfies in the process of his work the need for admiration.
13. The specialist is trying to be your friend.
14. The therapist initiates body contact with you without your consent.
15. The specialist is trying to persuade you to engage in a sexual or romantic relationship.
16. The therapist talks about himself and his personal life without any therapeutic goals.
17. The specialist is trying to enlist your support or help in something that has nothing to do with your psychotherapy.
18. The therapist discloses your confidential or identifying information to third parties without your permission or authority.
19. The specialist will provide you with the identity of other patients.
20. It is known about the specialist that he never received personal psychotherapy.
21. It is difficult for a therapist to accept feedback from you or admit mistakes.
22. The therapist is more focused on diagnosing than helping you make changes.
23. The therapist talks too much.
24. The therapist doesn't speak at all.
25. The specialist often speaks professional jargon or scientific language.
26. The therapist focuses primarily on your thoughts and cognitive functions at the expense of talking about your feelings and bodily experiences.
27. The specialist focuses mainly on your emotions and bodily experiences to the detriment of discussing your thoughts.
28. The therapist acts as if he has answers and solutions to all of your problems.
29. The therapist says what you should do, makes decisions for you, or gives frequent unsolicited advice.
30. The therapist encourages your dependence on him by "giving you fish, not helping you fish for yourself."
31. The therapist tries to keep you in therapy against your will.
32. The psychotherapist believes that only his approach to work is correct and ridicules other psychotherapeutic schools.
33. The therapist argues with you or often confronts you.
34. The psychologist does not remember your name or the content of previous meetings with you.
35. The therapist shows inattention, misunderstanding, does not listen to you.
36. The psychologist answers the phone during a psychotherapy meeting.
37. The therapist is not sensitive to your culture or faith.
38. The specialist denies or ignores the importance of your spirituality.
39. The therapist is trying to push you towards spirituality or a particular religion.
40. The specialist does not show empathy.
41. The therapist empathizes too much.
42. The therapist seems overwhelmed by your problems.
43. The therapist seems traumatized by your feelings or problems.
44. The psychologist nudges you into subjectively difficult memories or experiences against your will.
45. The therapist avoids talking about your subjectively difficult memories and experiences.
46. The psychologist does not ask your permission to use any psychotherapeutic techniques.
47. The therapist forces you to use volitional control over your impulses, obsessions and addictions, without helping you to recognize, appreciate and eliminate the root causes of these manifestations.
48. The specialist focuses solely on helping you understand, assess and address the root causes of your problems, while you see more value in strengthening practical skills in managing your impulses.
49. Your consultant is often late for appointments, rescheduled or canceled.

If dear readers have something to supplement this list, please leave your comments in the review of this article.