2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Have you ever thought about the moments that changed your life? Moments of victories or achievements, discoveries, realizations that made you yourself? When did you allow yourself something that you didn’t dare to do before?
I have several such stories, and I want to tell you one of them …
When I re-read my stories, I get the feeling that they are all about overcoming my inferiority complex ….. This fact makes me both happy and bitter: I am glad that this is a lot of strength and energy for me, but bitter because simple things get to me in some complicated, winding way, with difficulty, so to speak …
Here is the first story - about it….
I love to sing, it gives me this pleasure, I feel goosebumps when I perform some favorite piece, one might say, I sing with my whole body, for me this is the leading way of self-expression …..
I sang from childhood, like many, but, unlike the lucky ones who could calmly develop in this, I practically did not receive support in this process, which was worth only the phrase of my mother "Yes, you will shut up someday !!! ? "…. Sad … … As a child, I really dreamed of studying at a music school and performing in order to express my stormy, emotional, sensitive, very creative nature … But it didn’t work out.
As a result of this, into adulthood, I came out with a bunch of complexes and taboos in the field of creative self-realization, I wanted to sing, but I could not sing freely, as I was shy and it seemed to me that I could not or interfere with someone, that I sing very much loudly that my neighbors can hear me, and so on …..
And I wanted to sing! … And I suffered from this … Only those people who had the experience of something like this in childhood can understand me …..
As time went on, I, of course, sometimes sang in small companies or alone, but I was ashamed to do it openly, to present myself or learn this process, I was very envious when I saw how this or that person successfully manifests himself in music, sings or plays on the instrument FREE, for your own pleasure …..
The abilities and talents that you suppress in yourself press and interfere with life … Then there was a crisis, as a result of which I got acquainted with psychotherapy, with coaching and found my resource in them … My motto in this process was the phrase of Irina Mlodik: "Start, even if you don’t know how ")))))))
Well, I started! From that moment on, my creativity began to revive, gain strength and gain strength, trying myself and experimenting))) …….. I began to study with various teachers, in the academic and pop-jazz direction, it was confirmed that I have an excellent ear and a rare voice, a vibratto and a natural "academic yawn" opened up, which sometimes gives me a lot of trouble, because I'm just learning to cope with it, and the sound, even in high positions, should be close and sonorous …..
In general, I learned from some teachers that I have a rare physiology - mezzo-soprano is not so common in fragile girls like me)))) …. I began to acquire my own peculiarity and appropriate myself.
Of course, I still have great difficulties with choosing, for example, a teacher, because for me the point is the support that I could not get from my parents … Or, for example, I constantly have fear and anxiety that I will not have time to prove myself that not a minute can be lost, because so much was lost in childhood and adolescence …
All this - successes together with regrets about the past time - gives me strength, becomes a resource …..
Now I sing, sometimes I perform, I even record music, I started to create!)! Heaps of plans and creative ideas are swarming in my head! … Something I have already implemented !!!!! I am very pleased to hear and feel the reviews of my girlfriends and friends about my work, to feel their attention and respect for my courage), in their person I found myself support …..
When you try to show yourself at least a little, you want more and more! …
At the moment I have a dream to sing in a group of musicians or only with a pianist, to make some original music and perform for my own pleasure!
I think one day it will come true!
I would be glad if you share your similar story!)
Perhaps she will inspire someone to do something!))
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