2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The child receives the basic feeling of his legitimate presence in the world in infancy.
This is the first and main lesson in life - I am, and this is good, there is a place for me in this world, the world is glad to me.
This is the experience of being the navel of the earth, the center of the universe in the family, when the life of the whole family begins to revolve around the child, like around the sun.
It is a positive mirroring experience where the child receives a response from the parents, "You are and this is good."
This experience subsequently becomes the inner core of a person.
A person with such a core subsequently adequately perceives other people's criticism and his mistakes. He knows how to learn from his mistakes, to benefit from criticism, to cope with his failures, he has protection from ill-wishers - this is the calm confidence that "I am and this is good."
A person without a core collapses from any of his mistakes or someone else's criticism. Such a person is vulnerable, aggressive to criticism. From any mistake or critical judgment, such a person within himself falls into the horror of the ban on existence, he has no right to exist as such, making mistakes. Therefore, it is difficult for them to learn from mistakes, they cannot admit them. How can we recognize and correct what threatens our existence? No way. Here either to aggressively defend themselves, dumping the responsibility on others, or to stop acting altogether.
What can such a person do without a core? Either continue to live like this, without the rod, but overgrowing with outer armor, or grow the rod, for the armor is tough but fragile. It is easily broken through by criticism and mistakes, and the core does not go anywhere, if there is one.
How to grow a core? Through good contact with others. With another, who at first will support and comfort, and say that “you are and this is good”, and only then will help to do “work on mistakes”.
Based on the materials of the seminar by L. Petranovskaya
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