2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Our subjectivity (self) is the inner home in which we are destined to live our lives. If at the stage of its construction everything went well, then a space is formed inside in which we will be comfortable and safe, a place where we can throw off our clothes and which will accept you as you are, where you are always yours. This is one of our most important pillars.
If at the dawn of our life (at the beginning of the construction of the house of our self) something went wrong, such a child becomes to some extent homeless, he has nothing to rely on inside himself. Sometimes events that the child's psyche is not able to cope with, and caring persons are not able to help their child "digest" what happened can lead to such an outcome. As a result, a hurricane is walking in his house, threatening to destroy the already fragile premises. To cope with the impending catastrophe, the psyche "walled up" the rooms on which the natural disaster has fallen, leaving small pieces of living space for living, islands of safety.
Howling of drafts, rats, etc., are frightenedly taken for the presence of monsters-people behind the wall inside the house (all those personal tragedies that the child had no one to share and experience, form such isolated zones of intolerable experience, contact with which the psyche will further avoid at any cost).
With such breakdowns in the first years of life, such a person in the future is doomed, in addition to the inevitable collision with life's difficulties, to also suffer from himself.
As Thain Rosenbaum wrote, “Closing the door of your own house will not make it safe. But you may be able to close the door of yourself. Hide in one of those rooms, perhaps even in the attic. Crawl inside and hide from the pain. will not notice that you are missing … All that remains is to decide when (if ever) to be reborn”
Is it possible to be "reborn" alone? Almost impossible.
We may be lucky enough to find a person (s), in a relationship with whom we will build the very house that we never had. A space in which one could place and jointly experience, understand and accept those unbearable pieces of experience, in which it was impossible to survive alone.
This will lead to the gradual de-bricking of basements and secret rooms and the formation of a sense of home within oneself.
Recommended:
The Price Of Silence, Or Why Everything Needs To Be Clarified
Have you ever had situations after which there was only one question “why so”? If yes, read on :), no, read it too, maybe useful for friends;) Most often, these are stupid situations, misunderstandings, accumulated grievances, experience in the past.
Professional Fairy Tales, Or What A Psychologist Needs To Remember
Recently I chatted with a colleague about life, children and clients. She congratulated me on the next release of the book "Fairy stories through the eyes of a psychotherapist", co-authored with Gennady Maleichuk. And somehow we jumped to the topic of how favorite children's fairy tales affect life.
Who Needs Psychotherapy?
“Do I need psychotherapy?” Several times I was asked a similar question in a personal message, so I decided to answer in general and for everyone. In general, psychotherapy is by no means something that is prescribed for health reasons. Well, perhaps in the case of suicidal behavior psychotherapy appoint .
Eat What They Give! Or How Does The Satisfaction Of Needs In Childhood Affect A Person's Character And Destiny?
Eat what they give! I remember myself when I was 4-5 years old. I’m sitting at the dinner table and until nausea I don’t want to eat milk with nasty froths, or boiled slimy onions, or a strange soup that smells of something incomprehensible, and an always busy mother or a kindergarten teacher, who has 15 more fidgets under supervision, say:
Human Needs Human. What Is Psychological Help For?
Each of us needs help and support at a certain stage in life. On our way, stress, loss and loss, health problems, difficulties in relationships with loved ones are inevitable. Often we are faced with problem situations, the way out of which is not obvious to us.
