On The Italian-Chinese Border

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-31 14:10

They say that the most naughty and careless children are raised by Italians. But they definitely haven't seen our Israeli kids

I remember very well the angry rebukes to the Chinese mothers-tigresses. We are not Chinese, Chinese are not us. Even the article had to be translated, because then there was only an English version and the book "The Anthem of the Tigress's Fighting Mother" and a detailed article about her.

Well, of course, we are not Chinese. But, to be honest, I would love to find a kind of "inner China Town" in myself and from time to time I would go there on a business trip for self-discipline, organization, the ability to bring things to the end and other skills that make adult life incredibly easier. peace and the phrase of one of the many commentators on the article. I cannot vouch for the accuracy of the quote, but the meaning was this: I am already well over forty, and I still "show great promise."

I was already chilled on my skin. How many ideas, projects, thoughts that are born in my head, and burst into soap bubbles from laziness and inability to persistently go towards the goal!

Why are there projects … How many posts in LJ and articles have not been written by me for the same reason, despite the fact that ideas and experience at least fill up. Jewish wisdom says that you can learn from everyone and lessons must be learned from literally everything. Therefore, here are three thoughts that arose after meditating on Amy Chia's revelations:

Thought first. Raising a child is not just a process of solving momentary tactical problems.

This is a long-term strategic project with a specific goal. You want your child to grow up and become … Successful, happy, sympathetic, rich, independent, hardworking, educated - emphasize the necessary. How exactly is a matter of your values and priorities. The main thing is that you keep this strategic goal in mind at all times.

The child is not capable of this and it is not necessary to shift this overwhelming burden onto him. He simply DOESN'T KNOW what adult life really consists of and what he will need in this life, as he did not know in a year that the iron is hot and you can burn yourself on it. DID YOU KNOW. Therefore, it is worth sitting down and thinking:" title="Image" />

Why are there projects … How many posts in LJ and articles have not been written by me for the same reason, despite the fact that ideas and experience at least fill up. Jewish wisdom says that you can learn from everyone and lessons must be learned from literally everything. Therefore, here are three thoughts that arose after meditating on Amy Chia's revelations:

Thought first. Raising a child is not just a process of solving momentary tactical problems.

This is a long-term strategic project with a specific goal. You want your child to grow up and become … Successful, happy, sympathetic, rich, independent, hardworking, educated - emphasize the necessary. How exactly is a matter of your values and priorities. The main thing is that you keep this strategic goal in mind at all times.

The child is not capable of this and it is not necessary to shift this overwhelming burden onto him. He simply DOESN'T KNOW what adult life really consists of and what he will need in this life, as he did not know in a year that the iron is hot and you can burn yourself on it. DID YOU KNOW. Therefore, it is worth sitting down and thinking:

Second thought. "Chinese Mom" is confident in what she is doing

She cannot be knocked down either by neighbors' lamentations, or by the works of child psychologists, or by the presence in the United States of a very active juvenile justice system. She is consistent and methodical, she firmly knows that "the path of a thousand li begins with one step," and patience and work will crush literally everything in its path. While we read mountains of books on education, listen to numerous specialists and rush from one extreme to another, fearing to "injure", "break", "disrupt the natural development of the personality."

I agree with Amy Chua that interest grows with skill, but where does skill come from if you don't have the patience to repeat the exercise dozens of times. I am a grown woman - I remember my despair in the hundredth driving lesson. "I will never learn to drive!" And my dear and beloved dad, seeing my despair, said, "Well, don't worry, maybe it's just not for you, you are dreamy, absent-minded …" thousands of repetitions and any monkey can be taught anything. " And it's true!

There is no universal recipe for education. Reading literature, listening to the opinion of experts, a normal parent relies heavily on intuition and common sense. But confidence in what you are doing here and now is necessary. A parent, confident in himself and in what he is doing, gives the child a sense of security, stability, hangs road signs on the child's path and puts up poles with lanterns, without making him poke at random in the dark.

Thought three - "The worst thing that you, as a parent, can do for your child's self-esteem is to let him give up."

Nothing builds self-esteem and confidence like the taste of victory. A well-deserved victory, without "giveaways". In my work with parents, I repeatedly come across the fact that both they and their children have long forgotten this taste. And where does it come from if the children do not have an elementary understanding of the connection between actions and their results and experience in the fact that if I WANT for this I WILL HAVE.

The ability to postpone pleasure, to give up petty whims in order to achieve a goal is a stage in the psychological development of a personality. But at the same time, it is a skill that can and should be trained. By itself, it is not very developed. And without this you cannot learn to win. It is very difficult to reach the goal, being distracted all the time along the way. And it’s so easy to say to yourself “it didn’t hurt and I wanted to” … But the sediment remains and covers dreams, talents, a sharp mind with a thick layer of rust … you were a capable child.

I searched for materials for a long time about how the life of Lulu and Sophie Chua develops today, several years later, but I did not find anything concrete, except that Lulu is studying at Harvard. And there are many more articles where it is written that statistics confirm a very high suicide rate among students of Chinese and Japanese descent, this is due to too high demands on oneself. They fall short of their own idea to travel in this life with a full-fledged ticket, and apparently do not want to be "hares". It's scary to think about it. As always, I want to combine the core of discipline and the ability to enjoy life. Do you think it is possible?