2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05
A new school year has begun, someone for the first time took their kids to the unknown and still attractive world of the school. Let's talk about what awaits the child there, and what experiences of the parents are associated with this event.
The first year of study is undoubtedly a crisis period for both the child and the family as a whole. The place of the child in society is changing, the way of life is changing, the psychological load increases. Everyday classes require sustained attention, intense mental work. Physical activity is significantly limited. If a child goes to school at the age of 6, then play remains the leading activity for him, and not educational activity, as with seven-year-olds.
The child comes to a completely new environment for both peers and adults. The natural need of the baby, to reduce anxiety and discomfort, will be building personal safety, namely, establishing personal contacts with classmates (it would be nice if there were children previously known to the child in the class), forming an image of oneself in feedback from the teacher, acquaintance with school requirements (discipline, appearance, regime). Not all children are ready for such tests, a significant part of children cannot cope with such a psychoemotional load, become very sensitive to criticism from peers and adults, withdraw into themselves, without receiving the necessary support.
In the first period of school life, the little man experiences a huge amount of emotions. Confusion. At this point, the child's personality has not yet been formed, and the requirements for him are significant. A child in search of answers to questions: Who am I? Where I am? What am I?
Anger. The child's needs are completely subordinated to the educational process: you need to concentrate, mobilize intellectual and physical strength. The child contains his spontaneity, without expressing his thoughts and emotions, for a long time he is kept in a static state, with a great desire to bug and jump.
Disappointment. Parents promised a completely different picture of the school: it will be interesting, fun, in a new way. From this list, as a rule, the expectations coincide only "in a new way", everything else causes a storm of indignation and disappointment.
Fear … This is a very strong and vivid emotion that arises in response to an apparent or perceived danger. There are many things that can threaten a child at school: they can swallow or reject them, they are afraid of failing to cope, not meeting their parents, the requirements of teachers, their own bar.
Shame, guilt. I'm not like the others!
Joy. I'm doing it!
Surprise, interest …
A child, not having the strength to cope with adaptation, can regress in development: he spends a lot of time with toys, does not demonstrate self-service skills, requires himself to be treated as a child much younger than he really is, refuses his responsibilities. period, you need to gain strength and patience to help your baby cope with new developmental challenges.
Unfortunately, the school system itself is built on comparison and assessment, and if the parents also turn on and become a “continuation of the school”, demanding, scolding and frustrating in every way, then the child becomes unbearable. At best, he will rebel, at worst, he will withdraw into himself, painfully experiencing his loneliness or psychosomatics will make itself felt (and these are not fictitious symptoms, but such a reaction of the body to the inability of the psyche to cope with the load).
The educational process is under the control of teachers, and at home, parents are endowed with the obligation to control the "consolidation of the material." Not only is the workload at school huge, and even after school to work and work, doing homework. The phrase “do homework” for many parents (even experienced ones) evokes very vivid emotions. If these emotions fail to be realized by the parents themselves, and they come out without disguise along with the message “homework needs to be done”, then the child, reading these transfers, perceives homework as “horrible horror”, as a punishment, and tries in every possible way to avoid it.
And as a result, we will have something like this: "He (she) does not want to learn, you cannot force it, nothing pleases or interests …"
This year, the Ministry of Education promises to lighten the program by 10-15%, these are very insignificant figures, and teachers need time to reorganize to a new program. So for now, one cannot expect significant relief.
How can you minimize parent and student stress when preparing homework? Here are some practical tips to help reduce stress when preparing lessons.
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Organized workplace and routine
The child should know that he has a permanent workplace, not in the kitchen, when it is convenient for mom, not near the computer, next to dad, but his own desk with convenient lighting and location. It is also important to prepare lessons at the same time, so the child begins to subconsciously perceive the process as something constant and self-evident.
- Necessary take into account the characteristics of your child … If, for example, he is always mobile and active and does not hold attention for a long time, he cannot sit down and learn all the lessons at once, he may well do them several times a little.
- Highlight time to help organize lesson preparation, especially for primary school students, help to deal with difficult tasks for the child, do not hang behind the child's back like a "sword of Damocles", sit next to him. Gradually, every day we reduce our presence in the lessons. Praise the lessons you have done.
If you are annoyed, then it is better not to take on the explanation, you will not have enough patience and then accusations and punishments can come into play, and the task is to avoid this.
It would not be superfluous for the parents themselves with a psychotherapist to work through their own school injuries, so as not to be frightened by themselves and not to frighten the child. Your school history is significantly different from his story, unless you yourself increase this number of coincidences, consciously or unconsciously.
Pay attention to how your child absorbs the information better. As a rule, three types of information perception are distinguished: Audials are those who basically perceive everything by ear. Such children are constantly distracted by sounds, they memorize perfectly by ear, they can move their lips while pronouncing the task, so it is easier for them to cope.
Visuals - see with "pictures", perceive all the information offered, primarily with the help of sight. Extraneous sounds interfere with the visual less, it is easier for him to remember when he sees text, writes down or sketches something.
Kinesthetics - for such people, emotional reinforcement is important, and they will perceive touch rather than words. It is difficult for a kinesthetic person to concentrate his attention, he can be easily distracted by anything; he remembers, as a rule, everything only in general terms, he must be allowed to stretch, take a break from educational work. It is not difficult to find an approach to teaching this or that child, given the peculiarities of the type.
- After school, give your child some time to play, relax, gain strength, and only then let him start preparing the lessons.
- Don't force your child to rewrite their homework over and over again to get the perfect fit. The more he rewrites, the more he gets tired and the result gets worse and worse, even if he learns himself to notice inaccuracies and blots and correct them accurately, this skill will be useful to him.
- Shame, guilt, comparison with others are not the best motivators, try to keep them to a minimum. Praise the child for small successes, for the initiative shown. Do not transfer the experience of past failures to the current school year, your child grows, develops and what was given with difficulty can be done easier and faster. Trust in his strengths and abilities.
School is just a part of life, an important one, of course, but apart from it, the child should also have a fun, interesting, eventful life full of discoveries and adventures.
May school years bring joy to both parents and children.
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