Procrastination, How To Help Yourself

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Traveling abroad, earned money, own business, learned languages - everything goes into the furnace of this “demon” of the subconscious. And his name is procrastination.

There are different opinions about where it comes from: there is not enough motivation, not enough time, there are more important things to do … As soon as the moment X comes, instead of sitting at a textbook in English, you surf the Internet looking through the news or a new series of games of trons. What is it? What game does the brain play with us?

Let's see what happens at the body and chemistry level during the procrastination process:

1) Goal setting. Here, dopamine and serotonin (hormones of pleasure) are released into the bloodstream, and you are practically "on horseback" (in your imagination, of course).

2) Moment X. An image arises in my head: now you need to sit down and do it. There is a release of adrenaline (the hormone of fear, I will write about fear further) and an increase in emotional stress.

This is where you slip out of the task: shifting your attention helps to reduce the emotional leap. You choose the “legal” way to allow yourself to postpone the planned task: wash the dishes, read a book, take a walk with the dog …

3) Frustration, depressed mood, guilt for unfulfilled work. The danger is that feelings of guilt and a mountain of unfulfilled tasks grow exponentially.

You postponed the job, did not complete it - there is a conviction about yourself "I am a loser", "I will not succeed." Over and over again, the feeling of self-doubt is strengthened. And this is not a harmless slip - this is what at the end of your life you will say to yourself: "What a pity that I did not do this." Here it is important to distinguish between meaningful goals that will lead to tangible results, and goals of the type "it would not be bad."

What is a Chronic Procrastinator? - this is a person who lives in the “syndrome” of delayed life, delayed happiness.

The underside of procrastination is always a sense of fear. You are afraid of the money that will come into your life, you are afraid of new acquaintances, the opportunities that have opened up for you. There are many options, and everyone has these fears of personal tailoring.

The basis of this feeling is deep convictions drawn from the past. For example: making a lot of money is not fair and rich people are bad people and I am good.

Or like this: if I am a failure, my mother will love me, because only in this way, in the form of pity, are you used to receiving your portion of love and attention. ⠀

As a rule, these beliefs are instilled in us from childhood, or are an “unspoken” moral code of the environment in the past (family, school, kindergarten), or even in the present. ⠀

What to do:

1) Imagine the end result of your goal. What is the end point? You need to induce the same jump in dopamine.

Example: You want to learn English. Why do you need it? - get a high-paying job in order to get more income and afford to buy the house of your dreams. Find a picture of this house and whenever you sit down to complete a task, put it in front of you. The task is to put yourself in the emotional state of the goal you achieved and trigger the release of dopamine.

2) Horse step: take an action after which you will not be able to postpone the task. For example: Promise your friend to take a city tour in English, and talk to him about a specific date for the meeting. It should be embarrassing and embarrassing for an unfulfilled promise. Create a deadline for yourself.

3) Take and do. A bit corny, perhaps, but true. Use apps like befocused, pomodoro. You check for 30 minutes and during this time you go nowhere (absolutely nowhere, even to the toilet), until you finish - you do not go and do not get distracted. ⠀

4) Regularity. There is good news: a person has a tendency to get involved in business. If at first it was a burden, then then you begin to get genuine pleasure from the process. This takes 21-30 days. This is not just a fairy tale about the formation of a vaccine.

It is during this period that new neural connections are formed, through which your brain will easily “walk” and perform the necessary actions.

5) Work through your inner fears and deepest beliefs. Nothing better than psychotherapy will help in this matter. And I will be glad to see you at the consultation.