2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In the process of life, we struggle with the temptation to get to know ourselves better and the fear that with this knowledge we will have to move on. The first time the question is "who am I?" we seriously ask ourselves in adolescence. And with all the rebelliousness of the transitional period, we respond to it. Then we revise the answers closer to the age of 27-30. It is normal and natural to engage in self-identification. To accept yourself with all your advantages and disadvantages, to understand your preferences and interests, you must honestly and clearly answer the question "who am I?" A firm sense of "I" helps us to choose landmarks in life and gives meaning to our experiences. Without it, we feel lost. Why do we sometimes lose our identity?
- Putting the needs of others first. When we focus on others and neglect ourselves, we are not aware of and value neither ourselves nor our needs.
- We lose the connection between our thoughts and feelings. Often we are so carried away and intoxicated by external pleasures - food, alcohol, mobile technology, that important information about our true needs, desires, feelings and who we really are, passes by consciousness. Remember how often we grab the phone or resort to various snacks, even when circumstances do not suggest it.
- We live life experience and personal transformations without leaving one role (mother, daughter, manager, husband, etc.). In fact, it turns out "role = I". But this is the wrong equation. "I" concept is much broader. By identifying with your role, divorce, retirement, job loss, the death of a loved one, or other traumatic events can also lead to a partial loss of sense of self.
- We feel shame and guilt for the events of the past, we try to forget them, and consequently we “bury” a part of ourselves. Someone told us that we are bad, strange, ugly, stupid, or unworthy of the best. Perhaps we were criticized or teased for our hobbies. And at some point we decided to abandon them in order to fit into the environment. After many years of this adaptation, a part of us is "lost".
The end of the year is the time to take stock and look for answers. I propose a list of questions that will help us discover "new" (forgotten) facets of our personality and get to know ourselves, and possibly - to get to know each other again.
Questions to open yourself up:
- What is my strength (what are my strengths, dignity)?
- What are my short term goals? And long-term?
- Who is the most important person to me? Who are my people?
- What am I ashamed of? What am I ashamed of?
- What do I like to do for fun? Which of these am I willing to do?
- What new activities / activities am I interested in, or what am I willing to try?
- What am I worried about?
- What are my values? What do I believe in? (including politics, religion, social issues)
- If I had only one wish, what would it be?
- Where do I feel completely safe?
- Who or what makes me comfortable?
- If I weren't afraid, I would …
- What achievements am I proud of?
- What's my biggest failure?
- What time of day am I most productive? How can I arrange my life to be as efficient as possible?
- What do I like about my job? What's not to like?
- What is my inner critic telling me?
- What do I do to show concern and care for myself and my needs?
- Am I an introvert or an extrovert? Am I energized in a circle of people or alone with myself?
- What fascinates me? What am I passionate about?
- What is my happiest memory?
- Do I have dreams? What are they talking to me about?
- What's my favorite book? Movie? Group? Food? Colour? And the animal?
- What am I grateful for?
- When I'm in a bad mood, I like …
- I know I get stressed when …
Answer these questions and you will experience a sense of fulfillment and excitement. By answering just one question a day, you can approach the New Year with a completely renewed person.
I am sure that the practice of answering these questions together with your partner will surprise you no less and will allow you to become closer to each other.
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