2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What the children of Santa Claus do not ask for, some - briefly and in a businesslike way, they say, this and that came, others - not forgetting to politely congratulate Grandfather himself and inquire about his health, others - reporting on their successes for the reporting period. Even adults write to Santa Claus: “The best gift for me will be an A in mathematics for the year from Maxim and a place in kindergarten for Margarita” …
What do children get for the New Year? Now, in the age of rapid development of gadgets, middle-income parents have no doubts that a high-tech gift is desirable. However, some of the kids are in great demand for super dolls, cosmetics, radio-controlled cars.
Useful gifts - skis, skates, roller skates, a ball, sledges - still lost their former attractiveness when they were a rarity and joy in the era of scarce Soviet reality. Here is an amazing paradox: how much pride, exultation and happiness have experienced those who at their time managed to get, snatch, get a valuable thing in the rather harsh conditions of the struggle for human existence. As Huckleberry Finn was right when he said, "It's only nice that it's hard to get it."
Educational toys for toddlers and junior schoolchildren will be received with special enthusiasm when one of the parents is ready to join the joint process of sawing, baking, assembling a model or disassembling a puzzle right after presenting a gift. By the way, recently a lot of extremely entertaining and clever board games for any age have appeared on sale, which can turn out to be a real treasure for those households who appreciate the possibility of joint creative pastime. No wonder a wise advertisement for a sea cruise says: “ The gift of the year is to be together. "
Parents usually experience special difficulties when choosing gifts in two cases. In one of them, toys and things are bought constantly at the first or second demand of the child, in the other - when the child clearly deserves them. Possible reasons for both strategies are the difficulties that parents themselves experienced in their childhood in connection with gifts. Maybe there were very, very few of them and half of their childhood was spent on cherishing the dream of a certain toy or on envy of a peer who owns a coveted thing. Here is a sad remark from one of their current mothers: “I remember that my mother always said that gifts are not important, it is important that dear guests come and celebrate our name days. When they ask you what to give, you have to answer: what is ali invented? No gifts are needed, come yourself and that's it. Another regretfully recalls: “I was terribly embarrassed to visit on holidays, because my gift was the most modest, the worst of all. And how indignant I was at my mother for the fact that I could not be on the same level with everyone”.
Parents who fulfill all the whims of the child and never refuse to buy their children bring them up like the idol of the family. One of the fathers put it this way: “We lived so modestly that it never even occurred to me to ask my parents for anything. Let at least the son rejoice at everything. And then, if I try to deny him something, he just starts to freak out. Why do I need it? In another version, day-to-day busy parents fill up the child with toys and things in order to somehow compensate for his lack of warmth and attention. One of the saddest consequences of this approach is the fact that for parents who are unable to set boundaries and say NO to the child, the child is not able to adequately assess their own capabilities, does not feel safe and therefore very insecure. Immediately receiving everything they want, such children lose the ability to enjoy gifts. The fabulous charm of New Year's days also disappears.
The second parenting strategy - when the child is given gifts in case he really deserves them, usually occurs with a demanding parenting style (like Cinderella) or with a very limited family budget. And here I would like to remind you of this.
According to the definition, a gift is a thing that the donor voluntarily and gratuitously presents in order to please the recipient of the gift. Just. The key word here is free of charge … As Owl said, "Free of charge - that is, free." And what is awarded for obedience, for achieving special success, and so on, is a reward, that is, encouragement and compensation for the effort and time spent. Fee, salary and salary also belong to the category of remuneration. So we are talking about different things.
If in the parent-child relationship there is only a place for rewards, then there is a risk that the process of upbringing will be reduced to monetary and trade interaction between generations. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary from time to time, in accordance with the size of the wallet, to give the child real gifts. No way, just like that. Because each of us deserves the very best in this life, simply by the fact of our birth. Just because we live on this earth.
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