2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Is it true that children of nervous mothers grow up to be neurasthenics? How can I curb my nerves to provide my child with a healthy family environment?
It is no secret that in the process of growing up, children can inherit the behavior model of their parents. This happens unconsciously, and even when we voice the "correct" attitudes and principles, if our words diverge from our actions, the child will unconsciously repeat exactly the behavior. So, for example, if a mother teaches that cheating is bad, but in some cases says to the person who picks up the phone, "tell me I'm not there," - words remain words, and behavior is copied as it really is, without moralizing embellishments. Therefore, it can be assumed that the statement " in nervous mothers, children grow up neurasthenics "really takes place in real life.
However, in order to "curb your nerves", it is important to understand what is at stake.
If we are talking about neurotic disorders, obsessive thoughts and actions, anxiety disorder, etc., the mother should first of all consult a specialist (medical psychologist). What seems to be a "minor deviation", the child learns as the norm and in the future this complicates his interaction with other people who do not have the same disorder in the family history. In the therapy of psychosomatic disorders, this happens quite often, when the client's psychogenic illness is associated not with a specific problem or trauma, but with a "neurotic" upbringing. Also, the attention of a specialist is attracted by psychosomatic symptoms in the form of sleep and appetite disorders, frequent headaches, intestinal spasms, pressure in the chest, skin rashes, etc., which is often just a manifestation of the fact that not coping with your negative emotions, for fear of harm to the child, the mother tries to suppress them (ignore, drown out, etc.). This behavior also contributes to neurotic splitting. the child sees that something “not good” is happening, but the mother’s reaction is “positive”. To prevent this from happening negative experiences, it is important to recognize, recognize, interpret and direct in a constructive direction, thereby teaching the child to cope with their difficulties, and not to run away from them.
If by “nervousness” is meant emotional instability that was previously uncharacteristic for a woman (inadequate euphoria, hyperexcitability, irritability, anger, feelings of helplessness and despair), more often they are associated with overwork, neuropsychic exhaustion, lack of support and understanding in the family. If this is the case, it may make sense for you to discuss with your partner what kind of help you need. Make a list of things that you have to do every day, analyze those that you can refuse, which can be combined, which can be delegated, etc. It is important to remember that no matter how difficult it is for you to care for a child, this will be not always. Just take yourself a little time, and after a year or two you will be able to gradually return what you lack so much (physical attractiveness, communication, interaction with society, personal time, financial stability, etc., everyone has something of their own).
If the mother's "nerves" are more connected with a lack of information about the child's upbringing and development, she does not understand partly his behavior, receives the opposite reaction from the expected one, gets lost in modern psychological theories of upbringing, etc., in addition to consulting a child psychologist on a specific case, she can help the books of the couple Martha and William Sears, Svetlana Royz, Lyudmila Petranovskaya, Yulia Gippenreiter, etc.
Commentary drawn up at the request of Baby Box Ukraine
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