2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Every person has lost someone in their life. Someone in the storm of life, unable to hold onto the handrails and a life jacket, lost himself and then could not find it for a long, long time. This may sound stupid as much as you want, but it is not at all necessary that "I have lost and myself to blame!" The compass just doesn't physically work at the poles …
Someone lost their parents and this is akin to a complete failure of the foundation of a high-rise building, because what to hold on to the walls and the roof becomes simply not clear. All the unsaid offers and unseen countries fly by before the eyes of the storks. Big becomes unimportant, small becomes significant and valuable to the point of screaming. But nothing can be fixed, only memories and pain remain, with which you learn to live.
Someone lost their children … And then life ceased to have any meaning, because grief became not just all-encompassing. The whole world became hell, and every breath became pure pain. Flashes of punishments for triplets in chemistry and socks scattered around the apartment fell on the table like withered leaves. If it were possible to turn back time … But all that remains is to live, although it is not entirely clear how …
Someone was losing their best friend. And it was not necessarily an accident, it could be a banal sudden betrayal. And yesterday you remembered how you climbed on the roofs as a child and you carried him almost five blocks to the nearest emergency room, and today his interests are more important than the sentimental past. And it looks like he goes to the same job and grills the same incredible steak on Sundays. But it has already been deleted, like a file, creating a huge void on the soul disk.
Someone has lost a cat or a dog. You will say: is that really a loss! And you will be wrong, because sometimes (and it's fortunate that these feelings are not familiar to you) such a furry friend replaces a real person. And losing it is like losing the warmest and most understanding part of yourself. It means again to remain in complete deaf silence, alone with yourself, to feel the loneliness piercing, like the cold of the polar night, tearing the soul to shreds.
It is much easier to deal with loss when you are good and the other is bad. By the way, this is one of the least painful ways to leave therapy … It is even easier to survive the loss when, in principle, there is nothing to do with it. That's how psychopaths, for example. Then the loss of a person is another inevitable, a broken screw in the mechanism, which just needs to be replaced with another. Do not expect any sympathy or understanding from him, because they are not known to him.
Each person has lost someone. It was not often possible to mourn this loss in full, because money, work, children, "as much as possible, you are an adult!" And so this pain settles as a black precipitate to the very bottom and waits for its time to come out. Waiting quietly. Because the hardest grief is always silent: there is simply not enough power to handle the volume.
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