I'm Running, Vitenka, I'm Running Little

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The hardest burden that a child can bear is the unlived life of his parents.

K. G.

Remember that series from Yeralash with the restless grandmother who rushes with all her might to help her granddaughter Vitenka. This is certainly funny, but at the same time sad. And the point is not even in her, but in the collective image of a woman who, having given birth to a boy for herself, is trying to make him a "real man." Having given birth for herself and with all her appearance showing her husband “you are indifferent to me” or “you are nobody here”, such a mother begins to realize herself in her SON. The only and beloved.

My colleague, who is 48 years old, often told stories from his life. He is with mom and grandmother alone. Dad was unworthy of such a goddess as his mother. Therefore, one day, at the next family council, which, of course, consisted of a grandmother and a mother, all the negative aspects of dad were considered. Grandmother spoke confidently, clearly and only about shortcomings. Mom quietly squeaked out of topic. As a result, a unanimous decision was made - DAD IS NOT FIT. Since then, the boy's life has turned into continuous care and love from close relatives. As my colleague recalled, this love was brought to the point of absurdity - sometimes it looked like a plot in Yeralash - with wiping off snot and pulling on tights at the age of 12, and sometimes it took out all the unclaimed love of a mother for her spouse, which periodically burst out in the form of punishment for the boy with a bamboo stick for the slightest offense. Friends for the boy were carefully selected and, almost always, a verdict was made - DO NOT FIT. Either the family is not happy, or the grades are terrible. Suddenly, he will teach dirty words, and suddenly unseemly actions. There was no question of girls at all. There are simply no worthy ones. And when our hero nevertheless decided to marry, grandmother, dripping valerian into a glass of water for his mother, said: well, we'll teach her everything, you look and there will be people from the young lady. The ending of the story is obvious - the young wife ran away, it didn't work out to make a man out of her. True, our hero also ran away from his relatives and hid for a very long time. A real happy ending, because the guy is not a fool. He treated both his mother and grandmother with understanding, but he decided to build his own life, not allowing any of them to interfere.

Why is this happening?

If we go back to the origins of such stories, then we often see a woman who has been bred by a woman, in the absence of a strong male shoulder. Such a woman simply does not know what this man really is and all her ideas about him are taken, as a rule, from books or soap series. If she nevertheless observed a man next to her, then he, most likely, performed some insignificant role and was generally invisible. All her ideas about a good real man are inspired by her mother's firm voice. And when such a girl gets married, her domineering omniscient mother, of course, will find a bunch of shortcomings, for which her son-in-law is not even suitable for her beloved daughter. So the son-in-law urgently needs to be done away with by all available means. Well, the fruit of love is our dear - everything that is good in it is only ours and does not concern the dissolute daddy. From this moment, grief-education begins.

So, he was born - the Son of a woman with an uncomfortable personal life. He is under powerful care and tutelage. The little man lives and does and does not know grief: they will wipe off the nozzles, and the pants will be pulled up, and the sandwich will be shoved into his mouth, previously chewed. The child looks at the world through the eyes of a mother, thinks like a mother, but he does not even suspect that his own thoughts should be in his head. Why, after all, a mother or a grandmother thinks in this family. They know everything and if they explain anything. The saddest thing in such stories is that the closest and closest people do not even suspect that in fact it is they who spoil the life of their son - making him an infantile, incapable, irresponsible person. And he is glad to try - after all, it is so pleasant to accept care, it is so pleasant not to answer for anything and not to take responsibility.

The real wisdom of a woman lies in helping her child to separate in time, so to speak to mature both psychologically and socially. It is easy to blindly follow the cult of the mother, and even more so to show it. But becoming a brave heroine, whose child is a full-fledged and independent part of this world, is what is truly valuable!

Love your children like heroes!