2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We are pleased to think that the psychotherapist is a static, unchanging figure that does not give in to any fluctuations at all. That he is always able to endure literally everything: from life stress of any size to an oak cabinet from the ninth floor without a working elevator. We are pleased to think so, because in this slightly crazy, rapidly changing world, something must remain steadily stable and unshakable
In general, this is almost always the case within the cabinet. But the rest of the therapist is the same set of biological functions as the client who comes to him, with periodic ailments characteristic of each. Moreover, he even has his own, different from the therapy room, personal life.
For example, a therapist may have children in an active adolescent crisis, with all that it implies. And no matter how directive or, on the contrary, the therapist is accepting, this maturing tomboy will still spit on his opinion, because hormones and the rebellion he has raised require it.
Or he may have obnoxious neighbors who consider it their duty to wake up the surroundings by screaming in "volume max" mode with "Bloodstock" or (fie, fie) Dima Bilan. These (or other) neighbors may occasionally role-play during the Flood by flooding a freshly renovated kitchen.
He may also suddenly have hobbies. For example (oh, gods!) Not connected in any way with a thorny therapeutic path. For example, boxing (that is for stupid ones, you don't need much mind, the whole head is beaten off), fencing (God, is someone else interested in this ?!), pole dance (this is the one with the pole? I mean, you don't need to undress at the end of the dance?), gardening (you can still buy!
Even worse, in life he may not be at all the same as you know him in therapy. For example, having stumbled and scratched during a difficult climb in the mountains, he will not say "What an annoying misunderstanding", but something that is indicated in the letter as Xs and igroki, but which cannot be said in front of small children. Or, without bothering herself with long congruent explanations, she will say something about the horse, indicating the exact direction of the path to the horde of gypsies who are attacking him again. Or suddenly it will be discovered that under a restrained wardrobe structure, the therapist's body is proudly decorated with a riot of stuffed paints and hieroglyphs, and this certainly speaks of his lack of confidence in the beauty of his own body!
Even during the play, the therapist may be injured by friends. And his wife can leave him. He can lose loved ones. In general, his life is most likely far from ideal, as the imagination draws. But this is also why - he does what he does.
And yet (although it is not customary to talk about this out loud), the therapist himself may not be completely worked out. It happens. And quite often. For different reasons. This means that he will condescend to the requests of the client if his own narcissism is not realized and worked out. Or he will start to overly empathize and even be indignant if he himself is in a strong decadence from the betrayal of his wife, and you came with the same.
And you don't need to know about this personal life outside the office. It’s even better not to know. Because only your relationship in the "here and now" format is important, because they are built from projection, transferences and fantasies. Everything else is superfluous.
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