2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is often said that you do not need to react to rudeness, you should be above this, and if you react, it means that not everything is in order with your personal boundaries.
But in response to rudeness and insults addressed to us, the brain reacts with the release of certain chemicals. It's not for nothing that our face starts to blush, our hands tighten. Nature intended that a person in a state of anger must beat the offender, thereby giving vent to anger.
It turns out that if we constantly listen to insults and do not react to them in any way, anger will be forced out into the unconscious. Thus, aggression that has not been expressed outside will turn into auto-aggression, i.e. will be directed against the person himself.
Therefore, it is very important to react, and this should be a reaction that will bring satisfaction to the person himself and will be sufficient for him in this case.
If you want to answer an obscene insult with obscenities, you should do it, however, you need to remember that as a result of such a skirmish, a fight can unleash, in which you can get hurt if the person does not consider himself stronger than the offender.
In most cases, of course, it is better to get by with lighter "artillery". For example: “Please don't talk to me like that! You insult me!"
That is, qualify the insult as an insult. Make it clear that you are serious about the words of the boor, and he may be punished for them. Often people say nasty things with a smile, as if under the guise of an innocent joke, in order to go unpunished. Then the person can be told that his words are offensive to you. Thus, you will destroy his plan.
Or: “For what purpose are you saying this? I would like to understand. Then I will choose a way to react. (Let the boor see that it is not he, but you - the master of the situation!)
If you are used to irony, you can say:
"You are a very funny specimen!"
"Thank you, I will definitely take your opinion into account!"
Remember that a person offends another because he himself is literally torn apart by negative emotions, and he seeks to involve as many people as possible in order to take out these emotions on them, and thereby get rid of them himself. At the expense of you, he is simply protecting himself. That is, something is not right with you, but with him. And, most likely, it is very wrong.
But this is not your problem at all. Therefore, you can answer, making it clear that you are aware of how bad he is: “Do you want to offend me? Did you feel any better? (with sympathy in his voice). Such an answer will definitely discourage the offender from continuing the dialogue, and in the future will save you from his insults if you have to contact him.
Most importantly, in no case start to see the situation through the eyes of the offending person. Do what you have planned. Don't let the boor lead you astray and ruin your mood for the whole day!
Author: Gorshkova Maria Alekseevna
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