2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
How to protect yourself in a situation when unfamiliar people show aggression in a new team for you or even in a queue? What is the essence of the problem, and why is there more aggression in your life?
As a rule, outbursts of aggressiveness and hostility from others always indicate that inside the person himself has a lot of aggression - we notice outside only what is inside us. There is a wonderful defense mechanism - projection. Almost all life is built on the principles of projection (in the world of psychology, this is 100%). That is why, if it seems that people around are evil, and only ill will appears in their actions, it is worth asking yourself - where does the anger in me come from? In some situations, anger can be a reaction to the frequent violation of personality boundaries. Relatively speaking, the psyche itself unconsciously requires intervention in the inner world of the individual, provoking others to intrude. In this case, a person can do absolutely nothing, and no emotions will even be reflected on his face. Where does aggression come from? This can be a manifestation of childish hostility towards their guardians (mom, dad, grandfather, grandmother, etc.); a response to any kind of violation of boundaries, evidence that at the moment the person is very vulnerable and vulnerable. Perhaps a person has engaged in an in-depth study of his psyche, in this case, weak spots appear in the mind, and any approach is perceived by a person quite aggressively, so often the "offender" wants to push away - "Go away and do not touch me!".
If a person's morbid consciousness is hurt by strangers, it is worth asking yourself: “Which of the close relatives (spouses, parents, children, brothers and sisters) resembles the“offender”in behavior or even appearance, what kind of unconscious response does he evoke?”. For example, it may be related to the mother and her attempts to influence the actions of the individual. In such a situation, the root of aggression is hidden behind the mother's figure, so it is worth working out this problem in detail (Why did anger arise? What was not said and what would I like to express?). A temporary solution to the problem is acting out on other people (I will speak out to this person, and my anger will pass). However, such behavior leads to rather negative consequences - there is a desire to recoup even more, over time it will look like psychopathy and narcissism.
Self-diagnosis of high levels of aggression, rage, anger, and frustration can be difficult. Why? If a person has lived
all his life with some degree of aggression and internal tension, he does not know and does not understand the difference. However, defending yourself against moral monsters all your life is not an option, therefore, at least, you should ask yourself about the origins of internal aggression.
There are times in life when some mental wounds hurt more, in such cases you always unconsciously want to defend yourself and get moral, even sadistic, satisfaction from what you hurt another. And sometimes there are so-called healing periods (a kind of compensation for all the years of suffering). At this time, a person can get to know himself better, understand the roots of his aggression and opportunities, be vulnerable next to someone and find inner balance. Alternatively, you can push everyone away from yourself, make it hurt in response. However, this will not get better forever, this is a standard way to prove to your psyche that it is quite possible to protect yourself, that there is a strong personality inside that can refuse or, conversely, take whatever you want from life. Every day is in any case competition, and aggression is a way to satisfy one's needs, especially if a person has been hiding all his life.
How to understand that aggression has been suppressed over a long period of time? In this case, inner stiffness is felt. If we are talking about some kind of action, the person is embarrassed, shrinks, unconsciously tries to hide. In situations where there is aggression and aggressors, the psyche tries to convey that it is time to throw out everything that has accumulated outside.
How can you protect yourself from aggressive attacks? You can turn on retaliatory aggression and react accordingly. However, it is not so much the behavior that is more important, but the inner feeling that the personality puts a clear boundary between the aggressor and himself (“He will not take my energy, I will not let him!”). The most acceptable phrases are "No, I don't need this!" If a person can respond calmly and confidently to all provocations, this indicates that his internal level of aggression has dropped. It is important that the answer confirms the inner aspiration of the personality - "No!" means "No!" (not “Perhaps”, “Someday”, “Maybe”, “Try again, later”). If the aggressor makes multiple attempts, it completely contradicts the words of the person, respectively, in all non-verbal manifestations he hears "Yes!" Thus, this will indicate that within consciousness, a person cannot refuse to satisfy someone's needs.
To resist such manipulations, it is necessary not only to work out the line of behavior, but also to find the inner state. At the first stage, it is necessary to clearly and confidently learn to pronounce “No, I will not do this!”, “You know what? This is my life, I decide - what I will do and what not!”,“I cannot allow you to do this!”. Then you need to realize and find an internal state of aggression, to feel how everything boils and boils inside - while outwardly it is necessary to maintain complete calmness, emotions should not be reflected on the face. It is also important to understand the system of personal boundaries - what can a person allow others to do in relation to himself? To do this, you need to analyze all painful life situations and make a list. Anger is always a contact feeling. That is why, if it occurs, it is a sign that the person was not satisfied in a certain contact or the connection was cut off. First of all, to understand the root of the problem, it is necessary to analyze close relationships and the period of childhood - as an option, there was not enough warmth and support.
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