Forgiveness Is Impossible As Long As You Feel Like A Victim

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It seems that I was interested in the topic "forgiveness" with its subsections "forgiveness of oneself" and "forgiveness of others."

But every time I learned some new information on this topic, I did not leave the feeling that there was something wrong with it!

From time to time I posed a question to myself, but the answer was somehow contradictory!

Lacking clarity?

At least for himself, but sharing with others was possible only with questions and problems.

The first thing that happened in a positive way, I lost the desire to take everything ready-made from some authorities.

A little later I felt, just like that, that the authorities on the topic of "forgiveness" were no longer needed, I need to decide about forgiveness for myself! And what have the authorities to do with it.

And I began to search, what is it that I am missing?

And one more important point, I had a question - why didn't I refuse from "forgiveness" …

Like: "Why twist this mental gum about what is not?"

All the people with whom I discussed about forgiveness about it just discussed….

If I asked to give examples in which they forgave someone, then the examples were somehow very effective, and, moreover, in time strong in the past …

But right yesterday, today and tomorrow no one beat them, no one insulted them, no one aroused animal fear or strong excitement in them ….

Well, nobody did the above unfairly …

They only remembered about it …

The most correct question is, why didn't you forgive your offender right in the fifth grade? Immediately after humiliation, after betrayal, etc.?

Why did you live to be 30, or 40 or more, and only then could you forgive, and before that you dreamed of revenge without a twinge of conscience …

On a super valuable idea - this idea of revenge, of course, did not pull and did not seem to have any signs of obsession, but at every "inconvenient case" it made itself felt! And sometimes oh, how she gave!

Emotions, emotions and more …

From the position of the observer, from the position of the researcher, it became clear to me that the forgiving one must first be safe!

If safety is not ensured, you can not be interested in forgiveness at all, this is not your story …

Secondly, forgiveness is not your story if there are many unknowns in this story …

For forgiveness, you need to know what and how it was (sometimes in detail in detail), and what - how much, and what feelings, and in response to what you felt and who, by name and for what …

Otherwise? Otherwise, you will watch political polemics in talk shows or films about the war, where at first the bad do bad to the good, and then the good still defeat the bad and forgive them with the words: "Well, the bastards will still offend me!"

And it would be important to honestly take stock with real faces from your real life!

Knowing the results, knowing the "damage that the abuser caused", you can put up with it or get compensation.

It is impossible to forgive a cloud of "fog" in front of you, in which you are offended by someone unknown, who knows how, and why?

You should probably not try to lie to yourself, what can you forgive without compensation?

The Gestaltic did not close!

Thirdly, send to hell those who rush you with forgiveness!

Just kidding, just kidding, just ignore!

Forgiveness is not a first quarter report to be submitted by the 20th….

Your forgiveness has its own pace! If you decide that you need about 20 years to complete the first and second, then take twenty years.

How to justify is stated in the third paragraph.

Fourth, if forgiveness has already begun, then do not rush, be in doubt …

Fifth, if you felt safe, if you summed up correctly, if you spent the right time and felt everything that was checked in your body, but somehow pulling with forgiveness, then it's time to stop being a "saint" standing on a pedestal above others and go down to everyone else. To those who live an earthly life and are mortal, like you, too, in general!

Once the arrogance recedes, then you can forgive!

"Understand and forgive" the other second, and yourself first!

Yes, please note "understand and forgive" - this is at the end!

Please do not mix it up!

Otherwise, nothing will come of it!

And finally!

A parable about an evil relative.

One boy was left without parents early and he was sent to a relative's house …

The relative was always angry with him and almost always cruel …

He constantly beat him, insulted him and there was not a single case that he was at least a little pleased …

So several years passed, the boy grew up and fled from home …

He slept on the street, starved, but it was all better than the life of a relative …

One day he got a job at a Buddhist monastery.

He joyfully and diligently worked for ten …

And he also took martial arts lessons.

And after a while he succeeded so much that he became a Master of these martial arts …

Students from different districts began to come to him! They admired the teacher's skill and his kindness …

And then, one day an evil old man came to the gate! He was the relative who took the orphan with him!

But old age did not make him kind! And he, as before, began to insult and shout at his "boy", and even was going to hit him….

The disciples were outraged, and some were even going to just kill him like a "mad dog"!

They were about to draw their swords, but the teacher stopped them and said: "Oh, no, no, no, this is the person thanks to whom I achieved everything that I have valuable now!"