2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
With our couple "something is wrong", "no love", "our relationship has changed." What to do with this and is it worth changing anything at all?
There are two difficulties in a relationship and three stages in the development of a couple. They can help you understand your union.
There is a myth in the world about "true" love, about the immutability of feelings about "love to the grave." It comes from tales of chivalric times and assumes the constancy of deep, emotional experiences. Perhaps you have thoughts of waiting for a "prince" or "princess." The one who helps will get everyday life out of the fortress.
The second difficulty is unrealistic expectations, “doesn’t give flowers, it means that it doesn’t love”, “angry, it means that it has stopped loving”. Each partner will have a personal list, in a pair these lists do not always coincide.
Both of these lead to relationship difficulties. A psychologist often has to unravel these complexities. And as soon as you have coped with this and healed together, a new stage begins.
And what does the science of psychology tell us about the stages in the development of relationships
In the first phase, your relationship with your partner began with inspiration. You just fell in love with each other and the "honey year" was the most interesting and joyful. You idealized your partner and that was great.
Then, you became strict with each other. We saw the shortcomings and that not everything is so smooth. The time has come for disappointment. The number of disagreements has increased. This is the most difficult time that can only be experienced. During this period, you are trying to settle relationships or change your life …
If you get used to it, then you have moved on to the third stage of the relationship. And these changes seem unexpected or more difficult than you thought. This is where the relationship is re-evaluated.
The relationship between partners is like a song not by sheet music, but like improvisation. In which one and the other feel the same melody. And understanding the changes and development of relationships will help to align your souls.
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