2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
They approached each other …
An interesting phrase. How we understand that we are suitable for each other. What is primary and what is secondary?
Sometimes you meet a person and you feel something familiar. Although in reality, I have not even had time to talk to him and really communicate. And sometimes, at first, I didn't even notice the person, and when I got into a conversation, you understand “both were attracted” …
What happens at the beginning of an acquaintance?
We come to each other. We take steps into each other's life. We learn, open up, share. For one person to be able to tell something about himself, he must feel that he can do it. A kind of security in this guarantees interest from the other side. Moreover, such interest should be mutual.
Having met and realizing that we want to go further, we are already starting to move along the road in one direction, where there is much in common. In this regard, it is easier with friends, since we do not see them every day, we do not share our everyday life. Therefore, there is a tendency to "approach each other." With spouses, partners, she can be lost.
How not to lose interest in each other and have a distance at which you "come to each other"?
I think the important thing here is the fact that we change every day. Our body, outlook on life, opinion, thoughts are changing. Getting some new knowledge, communicating with different people, we change a little. The most permanent thing in this world is change. The world is always in dynamics. Since we are part of the world, its mobility, variability and impermanence affect us. We may not notice this, as it very smoothly enters our life. However, if we compare ourselves with ourselves a year ago - two or three, we will be able to see the changes
Always be observant of how your partner is changing. Is it true that his / her beliefs remain the same? Is it true that his values are the same? And when and why did something change?
Try to understand, feel, find out what is happening to him / her at the moment. What worries, what worries and worries. As he sees the way out of the situation
If something worries you and you are angry with your partner, ask yourself the question: “What is my goal? What I want?". Move on to the next: "Are the methods that I use, will they help me achieve my goal?" - and give an honest answer to yourself. Instead of using complex schemes that most often look like manipulation, it is enough to simply say "I miss you, and because of this I am angry …". In general, first understand yourself, and then tell your partner about it. Try to minimize the resentment-guilt bond by punishing your partner with guilt and puffing your lips for several days.
Well, the third point I would highlight is "the obvious is not obvious." I have already written on this topic, you can read in more detail in my publication. In a nutshell, it sounds like this: "check dictionaries." It's not just about the vocabulary we use, but the actions we take. Clarify what this or that act and statement means to you. If you see disagreements, ask your partner what they put into their phrases and actions. Explain your meanings
I wish each of you a constant path to each other with your life companions.
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