RELATIONSHIP FORMULAS IN A PAIR

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This article will focus on the intimate relationship between a man and a woman.

There are several options for close relationships between partners. They can be represented as mathematical formulas.

The first type of relationship is half man plus half man.

In such relationships, people perceive each other as a whole:

"We are halves of one apple together!"People do not perceive each other separately. They are completely dependent on each other and experience discomfort if they have to make decisions on their own without another partner, or they are not able to do it at all. They do not identify themselves as separate and developed individuals.

Mathematically, the formula for such ratios looks like this: 0.5 + 0.5 = 1

The second type of relationship between partners is that one partner is quite independent and is a full-fledged person, and the second partner is a dependent "half-hearted" person. In practice, it looks like one partner can fully develop in the modern world, while the other is attached to him and completely depends on the other partner.

Mathematically, the formula for such ratios looks like this: 1 + 0.5 = 1.5

The third type of relationship is between independent, equal individuals, where everyone is sufficiently independent and autonomous. However, it is good and comfortable for partners to be in close relationships together. In this type of relationship, people enrich each other, develop fully, become even more confident and freer.

Mathematically, the formula for such a relationship looks like this: 1 + 1 = 1 + 1.

In these relationships, understanding, love and mutual respect reign. People feel good together and good separately! However, there is another side in such a relationship - partner cohabitation, where each of the partners is socially successful and in demand, and also gets along well with his companion (companion) of life. But people with such cohabitation do not feel warm, tender and strong feelings for each other. They are unable to forgive, regret, care, or comfort each other. These relationships can be short-term or cold, boring, and bleak. To develop such a relationship, it is important for partners to pay attention to their feelings, emotions and joint intimacy.

There is also a fourth type of relationship between partners. When … 1 + 1 = 1 + 1 + "third person." Creation of the third self, third person. In such a relationship, there are three “I's” - you, me and our relationship. In these relationships, everyone feels like a complete, happy and harmonious person. Partners can also create common goals: write a book together, start a private business, create charitable foundations, hold joint events, etc. Caring for the third self is an important part of such a relationship.

In the fourth type of relationship, a healthy exchange of energy between people reigns, full and rich feelings, sincerity, caring, responsiveness. Partners can inspire, fulfill each other and move together in life. They are really interested in being together! Such love can be carried through the years, adversity and sorrow, remain, in spite of everything, in a strong, happy relationship. People take care of themselves and their relationships as a third substance. The difference between the third (1 + 1 = 1 + 1) and the fourth type of relationship (1 + 1 = 1 + 1 + "third person - relationships") is that in addition to independent personalities, a separate part also appears in relationships - the relationships themselves between partners.

I would like to draw your attention to two words: HEALTHY DEPENDENCE AND DEPENDENCE. Being dependent on a partner in a relationship is not bad or unnatural. It is normal that we are constantly dependent on someone. This is how our world works. But codependency, that is, the perception of oneself as an inferior, "disabled" person - this is the problem in the relationship, something that a couple or one of the partners must work on.

Everyone knows that bright, intense love lives for 1-3 years!

That is, during the first three years we, as a rule, wear rose-colored glasses, euphoria, hormones are raging in our body! The partner seems to us perfect! Our psyche tends not to notice the shortcomings at the first stage of the relationship, everyone shows their best features, sometimes hiding or covering up the shortcomings. The first stage of the relationship is symbiotic, in love, when 0, 5 + 0, 5 = 1.

At this stage, most often, couples register their relationship and begin to build their family. Further, it is already possible to promote them and improve them to the next stages. The rudiments of relationship formulas in a pair are already formed at the first stage of the candy-bouquet period.

After the first stage of falling in love, the beginning of life together, the couple understands that they are different personalities with their own characteristics, and here the spouses will form a further type of relationship.

Or the couple chooses the type of relationship when one partner is a full-fledged personality, while the second is, roughly speaking, an appendage of the first. Or the couple can choose the type of relationship where everyone will manifest themselves as a full-fledged and developed personality. And at this stage, disagreements, a struggle for power in the family and other problems may arise, but both are full-fledged people, and this is important.

And the last stage, where 1 + 1 = 1 + 1 + "new self", in my opinion, is the best relationship, when a couple perceives the relationship as a whole, but without losing their individual uniqueness and identity.

Now think about which relationship formula prevails in you, what kind of relationship do you create, how do you feel next to your partner? What do you want to change in the relationship and where can you move on? And you can always change and improve relationships!

Love, cherish and create happy relationships!

James M. (1979) Marriage Is For Loving. Da capo press

Article author:

Natalia Kondratyeva