How To Start A New Life After 30 Years: The Secrets Of Change

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Thirty years is the milestone through which everyone inevitably passes. For some, this transition occurs prepared, for others it is blurry, and for others it becomes the beginning of an acute stage of a personal crisis. In the overwhelming majority of cases (literally only a few are lucky) this crisis cannot be avoided - it is a consequence of the relations prevailing in society. But you can successfully overcome it.

If you know HOW. I will try to tell you about this in my article.

Life is no longer a joy

A clear marker that you have already entered a crisis is a clear or latent feeling that life has become somehow joyless, that there is no previous feeling of satisfaction and drive, that life is not a joy, routine and everyday life is seizing, a feeling of incomprehensible melancholy is growing and dissatisfaction with yourself. And most importantly, it's not very clear what to do?

Since the usual human practice is not to notice the obvious, and the emerging symptoms are attributed to various everyday factors - "tired", "no mood", "exhausted, just need to rest", etc. - the problem is not identified, and therefore not solved. Until it gets really bad. One of my clients lost his family, his car, his business went bankrupt, leaving a lot of debt. Another survived to neurosis and had to go to a neurologist for pills.

Life is arranged in such a way that the payment for inattention is inevitable. It may come tomorrow, maybe in a year, but it is inevitable. Therefore, having felt the "first swallows" of the crisis in the form of various kinds of psychological discomfort - for example, unwillingness to work more or develop a business, depressive states, outbursts of irritation, thoughts about the meaning of life, constant fatigue / melancholy / despondency, do not dismiss them, but after realizing the crisis that has begun, start get out of it.

Nature versus society

Before the advent of modern medicine, people did not live on the "lower ranks" for a long time. Heavy physical daily work, poor nutrition, lack of basic hygiene and prevention exhausted the body. And the weak immune system could no longer resist numerous diseases, for which there was simply no cure. Therefore, few people lived to be 40 years old. And only a few reached the age of 50-60.

People began to live for 70-80 years only in the twentieth century with the advent of modern medicine and its methods of treatment and prevention of the disease. If we speak in the language of systems thinking, then humanity has managed to extend the third, inertial or stable, stage of development of the biological system "man". And in this century it can be extended even further.

The low life expectancy of people had another reason. Natural. The fact is that the development of the required level of bioenergy and substances essential for the successful existence of the human body is genetically limited by the 30-year bar. Then it begins to slowly but surely decline. Until that time, the human individual had to have time to reproduce, that is, to pass on its genes to its offspring, and then the biological meaning in its existence disappeared. Nature does not know the concept of "pensioner".

Therefore, after 30 years, the energy supply of those roles, masks and projections that a person has put on himself in the process of socialization begins to decline. And in the process of this decline, a deep conflict between the true Self of a person and the "firmware" imposed on him by society begins to be exposed. Conflict, which is the main leitmotif of the midlife crisis.

Rise of the Shadow

By the Shadow, within the framework of this article, I will mean the true inner essence of any person. His real self, suppressed and driven underground in the process of socialization. Hunted down because the desires and aspirations that he has are poorly compatible with the requirements of social roles through which a person identifies himself (a kind of Mask).

The moment the social Mask begins to lose its dominant position will herald the rise of the Shadow. Aggravation of the contradiction between what a person really is and how he sees / represents / positions himself. This exacerbation gives rise to all sorts of emotional inconveniences in the form of outbursts of anger, constant irritation, feelings of inner emptiness, loss of strength, lack of desires and aspirations, all sorts of rushing from one area to another (from one person to another), a feeling of being driven, etc.

This can be thought of as a metaphor for a barrel in which, for example, cats are sitting. Previously, their grinding and attempts to get out were completely ignored, since there was enough strength to playfully hold the lid. But now there is no more strength and the lid is barely held. Cats break through, stick out their muzzles and scream heart-rendingly. And there is no way to drive them back.

It is important to understand that the Shadow is not a destructive manifestation. It is just a wounded soul, unlike your Mask, which Jung called a compromise between society and personality. Your healthy instincts, your intuition, your creative impulses, your ability to enjoy, your ability to sincerely enjoy the world and life - these are all your Shadow. That is, all that is so missing in your life right now is your Shadow. What needs to be integrated with your consciousness.

Five must-have steps

The essence of resolving the contradiction between the self and society lies in the fact that the personality leaves the framework and roles imposed on it, but at the same time remains a part of the social organism. Under the current conditions, this means becoming the Master. Owner to himself, his life. Then, when you become strong enough, weak personalities will reach out to you so that you become a master for them as well.

And the only way to become a Master, a Leader in life is to get rid of the state of victim. Getting rid of it is not as easy as we would like, but if this is not done, then your life will gradually wither until it comes to its logical ending - a sick, dull, unhappy, weak, and in most cases, even a poor old age.

The transformation process that will allow you to become a leader and start a new life after 30 includes five essential steps:

1. The very first thing is to understand your real goal (that is, the desire that your Shadow has), because only such a goal will give you the necessary strength to move forward, "ignite" for many years.
2. You must take full responsibility for achieving it. You can hope for God, for the Universe, for a lucky chance, for a good combination of circumstances, but you should not, as they say, “blunder” yourself. Movement towards the goal will depend only on your actions.
3. Next, you need to find the best and personally suitable way to achieve your goal, that is, what is commonly called "the work of life." The trick here is that the goal you set can be collective in nature, which means that to achieve it, you may need a team in which you do not have to take the leading role.
4. You should agree that your current worldview, perception of reality (mental "firmware") and the priorities tied to them are not quite adequate to reality and start the process of personal "flashing", i.e. getting rid of illusions and lying to yourself
5. The fifth step is a consequence of the fact that the previous four you did the right thing. You should leave your comfort zone. The easier it is to do this, the higher your degree of internal energy, motivation and adequacy. And they will be the higher, the deeper and better you get rid of the lies and blindness in which you lived all your previous life. Start to go beyond what you previously considered your capabilities and get new results, and with them global changes in life!

Of course, along the way, you will face various difficulties, difficulties and other trials. This is an inevitable part of life. You cannot learn to swim well and far with weak muscles. You cannot train your muscles lying on the couch and indulging in dreams of a better life. Everything has a price and a price. Nothing is given just like that. Behind every “magic” result is meticulous preparation, invisible effort, and a completely different mindset.

Remember! You may find yourself among those whose life after 30 years does not end, but passes into a new phase. A crisis is not a sentence, it is a happy opportunity to free yourself from the imposed and become, finally, yourself. Ready to discover yourself new? Someone you hid from yourself for so long, hiding behind gnarled and ugly social masks. From whom were protected by thick reinforced concrete walls of psychological protection. Then make up your mind to change. I will be glad to help you with this and invite you to my free consultation. Be sure to come!

Your new life is waiting for you!