2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Refusing and saying “no” is sometimes difficult, sometimes this inability to refuse can have a rather negative effect on a person. On his thoughts, feelings, sometimes people worry about the fact that the constant fulfillment of other people's wishes or requests deprives him of the opportunity to realize his own desires. There is simply not enough strength, and also the confidence that their own desires can be a priority. Of course, this is a matter of internal boundaries, but even knowing this, it is difficult for people to say no. Remember how you feel when you refuse someone?
There is one point to which little attention is paid. It is difficult for us to refuse far from everyone with whom we come into contact in life. We refuse to a stranger much easier than to a loved one. After all, close and close to help him, but here the point is different. You have this skill - to refuse. It turns out that there are situations in which it is difficult to apply.
The hardest thing for us is to refuse those people who make up our environment, although we know how to do it. After all, if you remember, everyone had an experience when he said "no", even to a loved one. But usually after that, the person begins to feel guilty, because the one who was refused is probably upset, and possibly angry. And we all have an attitude, from childhood, that we should be good. Especially when it comes to loved ones.
The trouble is that the desire to get approval in any way from your environment sometimes leads to the fact that a person becomes comfortable for others. It happens so that the environment begins to literally control a person's life, actions, using what is difficult for a person to say "no." Accordingly, a person begins to live not his own life (the way he wants), but trying to neither disappoint nor offend his environment.
The expression that the retinue is playing the king takes on specific parameters in such a situation. The people around us, especially those close to us, quite often have great authority in our eyes. But sometimes, this is precisely the factor that can seriously complicate a person's life. It is far from a secret that our self-esteem and inner state of confidence can depend on the attitude of others. And if our environment condemns our desires, then the inner discomfort is guaranteed to us. On the basis of this, people often give up their own desires.
And if we consider that there are a couple of good manipulators in the environment, with a desire to subjugate other people, then the inability to refuse them becomes a very fatal factor for the individual. The consequences can be very different, from apathy to serious problems in any area of life where independence in decision-making is required. After all, when we do not embody our own ideas, but replace them with others, then our life ceases to bring us pleasure. And all this is because we are afraid to make someone angry and stop fulfilling his life program, to refuse, in fact, people are afraid to become uncomfortable.
Our environment can be different, but it is more useful, for yourself, to change it until there are people in your environment for whom it will be easy for you to say “No,” they will treat this with understanding. Because, for such people, your desires will always be important. After all, a supportive environment is much nicer than the people who manipulate you.
Think, maybe it's time to change your environment, especially if it doesn't help you to become happier?
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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