2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Despite the fact that ideal people do not exist in nature, society in every possible way imposes on us the desire for the ideal, not only as a norm obligatory for everyone, but also as the only form of existence in this world.
Girls with perfect looks are watching from the covers of magazines. Baby food is advertised by the cutest babies in the world. Mulatto women smile with perfect snow-white teeth, luring them to dental clinics. On the posters, the ideal young family is ideally entertaining their, of course, ideal children.
They all seem to shout: "Be like us!" Or who the crowds of girls will run after, for example.
But a person who accepts himself only as ideal will never be satisfied. After all, there is no limit to perfection. There will always be someone richer, smarter, prettier and with longer legs. In addition, it is impossible to please everyone around you and meet absolutely all requests and world standards.
But despite this, many people are unable to admit their imperfection. For them, this is tantamount to admitting their weakness, vulnerability and ordinary (to be like everyone else). It is because of the fear of being ordinary ordinary people that they deny their imperfection, singling out themselves as a special group that has tremendous advantages over the rest. A group of “chosen ones” - the smartest, the most beautiful, the richest, the freest, etc. Such a community actively discusses the terrible flaws of all other people outside their world and comes up with methods of punishment for them. And the stronger the suppressed emotions about their own imperfection, the harder they will try to deal with those who are credited with their own flaws.
For some people, recognizing themselves as imperfect pushes them into depression and forces them to put their whole lives on the altar of self-improvement, without stopping for a second. Otherwise, the world may stop loving them.
This is because they cannot accept themselves as they really are: with all their "cracks", "splinters" and "cockroaches."
The roots of such an attitude towards oneself should be sought in childhood. After all, a child at an early age can accept himself exactly as much as his parents accepted him with all imperfections. And the parents certainly accepted us only up to three (four) months, after which worried questions and comparisons appeared in their heads: “Look, Mani’s child is already trying to sit at full speed, but mine is not going to yet. Maybe there is something wrong with him?"
And the more the baby grows up, the more demands and claims to him arise. Parents make it clear to him in every possible way that he will be accepted into the family only under certain conditions. But these conditions for a specific age of the child are often not feasible. And then the imperfection of the child is perceived by the parents as a terrible shameful vice, which they regularly poke in his face.
Therefore, the acceptance of their imperfection for many becomes more terrible than death (after all, if you admit it, you can be rejected and thrown out of the family). The only condition to stay in this family is to strive with all your might to become perfect.
And, since he absolutely does not know what acceptance is, he will not see signs of approval and support from other people, because he does not even understand what it is like when you are completely accepted. It seems to him that he is constantly late and he needs to always rush to meet expectations, be useful, try to squeeze all the strength out of himself, and only then he will not be rejected and will be respected.
But self-acceptance is necessary for the formation of a good adequate self-esteem, the creation of full-fledged and harmonious relationships with oneself, loved ones and relatives.
Acceptance of oneself is the ability and habit to treat oneself and one's own characteristics without negative connotation, just as a given. This non-judgmental and positive attitude towards oneself is a kind of a version of maternal unconditional love inside.
The meaning of self-acceptance is to learn not to get upset and not judge yourself for any of your qualities or actions you do.
When a person accepts himself, he will be able to perceive any criticism in his address without pain, anger or anger, using the information received to improve his life.
Acceptance is the inner permission to be yourself and fulfill your potential (regardless of the opinions of others).
The moment a person accepts himself as he is, without evaluating or comparing himself with others, both the feeling of superiority and the feeling of humiliation disappear. Tension disappears, unsuccessful attempts to become someone else cease, stress and depression that arose due to self-rejection disappear.
Acceptance is an experience that can only be lived in contact with another person with a similar experience in a safe environment (for example, with a therapist).
So that later there would be an opportunity to realize that all the imperfections and flaws of a person are his individuality (what makes him different from others) and to say to himself: “I am good enough, as I am, right now; and I don't have to do anything to be good. And believe these words.
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