2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I often hear a bunch of excuses. Excuses in a different area. "I won't succeed because I don't have the appropriate education." "This is all good, but in reality it is not at all true." "I would have done that, but my family will not support me." And a bunch of different similar excuses, while the excuses relate to both what I don't do and what I do. People declare their want, and then they voice a bunch of reasons why they cannot realize these wants.
It so happens that we don't even try to implement what we want. We do not even try to heed the advice and take at least some steps to change. We do not even hear ourselves, our inner voice, which says: "take it and do it."
Why? Because, in fact, we don't want to do anything, we want to groan. Whining is our everything. At this moment, we become victims. As soon as there is a desire to complain, to complain, we are already in the position of a victim. Even when we make excuses for something that we did pleasant for ourselves.
For example, a girl spent all the money on another bag and there was a week left before her paycheck. Showing the purchase, she begins to make excuses: “there was a very big discount, she dreamed about this bag for a long time, the bag remained in a single copy”, and so on. Does she feel guilty? - Yes. In front of whom she justifies, the girl is in the position of a kind of victim, since in fact she can receive comments (and she has already internally prepared herself for them and thereby sacrificed herself) that it is not logical to do this, what she will live on and that she could agree with the seller, leave a deposit and buy a bag after the paycheck, and so on. How should a girl behave in this case? She wanted it that way. When she made the decision to buy, thoughts flashed in her head about how she would live up to her paycheck. She wanted - she did. The responsibility for this decision is on her. Further, it depends on others to support her in this decision or not.
When I'm looking for reasons why I can't do something, it says that I don't want to do it! At the same time, when I complain, justify myself, whine, - the whole Universe will help me, everything around prevents me from achieving my goal: the conditions are not the same in the country, I was born in the wrong family, my parents did not set an example, the husband or wife does not give an opportunity, small children, someone did not remind, did not say, did not inform, even personal qualities can be used.
I do not mind whining from time to time to a friend, friend, sister, husband, but from time to time. This should not grow into a way of life and become a reason for inaction.
We can all look for a thousand reasons why "no", and if we want something better for ourselves, we need to find at least one opportunity, why "yes", grab onto it and act. Thus, you will develop the habit of translating "want" into "can" and "can" into "actions and results." Such a pig will help you in this: "how can I get what I want?"
What is important to understand here is that for some of them, “I want” is delayed at the level of “I want”. For example, “I want to go to the movies” or “I want to have a cappuccino” - for some it means that they just said they wanted to, but they didn’t say they would.
For those who “want” is practically equal to “act” and they find any opportunity for this, it is very difficult to interact with people at the level of want. Sometimes this interaction can lead to a fight (especially between a guy and a girl).
If I only want to, I should admit to myself and others that I really do not want to do anything for this, I am ready not to have what I want, since I am too lazy to do something for this, I feel good and so. This is my choice and I have a right to it. And my nagging is just a way to get attention. And my nagging is my inner capricious child. Acting at the level of an adult, I go up to a person dear to me and say: "Please pay attention to me, stay with me, please." True, there is a nuance in this - not everyone is ready to immediately give attention, since we are used to giving and receiving it in other ways (at the level of our inner children).
Each of us chooses what he prefers: the opportunity to say "yes" to himself or the reason for saying "no". What do you choose?
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