Fear Is Not As Terrible As It Is Painted

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

"Scratch off any bad property of a person, and its basis - fear … In addition, if you scrape some good properties of some people, then in this case the same fear often creeps out …"

Arkady and Boris Strugatsky

This week I have repeatedly heard the hackneyed and even slightly boring phrase: "The world will not be the same again." It is repeated as a mantra, as a harsh reminder to ourselves that the terrorist attack in the heart of France changed our attitude towards life, towards each other, towards the symbols of freedom and security. Yes, the world has already changed beyond recognition before, but for our country it has long become different, although everyone pretends that the scars on our face are invisible …

Nevertheless, we have not lost the ability to empathize with the French who are faced with a terrible phenomenon called terror. Those who did this gave us all, the whole world, to understand that being a citizen of the world is dangerous: going to the Red Sea to watch fish and sunbathing is dangerous, sitting in a Parisian cafe is dangerous, walking in crowded places is dangerous. Sit on your balcony, catch ultraviolet light, drink a lonely tea bag, meditate on guppies in the aquarium …

They strive to make us fall in love with safe solitude. And all the reason is fear. Indeed, in a world where television is not only a source of information, but also dominates in the formation of point of view, it is difficult to avoid the influence of global incidents, cataclysms, terrorist attacks on the psyche. We respond violently, we suffer, we turn our brains inside out, trying to protect ourselves from this tsunami of negativity, but we are unable to resist it. We are weak, vulnerable, painfully selfish and selfish. They are literally trying to intimidate us. And fear, in turn, causes anger, hatred and aggression.

Fear as a resource

Yes, fear is what we are, in fact, born with, how to live with the need. It sits in each of us, like a defense mechanism, like the ability to resist death, survive, escape, react in time to mortal danger. Therefore, our fears do not always bring exclusively harm, they often save us, giving us the ability to think rationally: run away in time, fall to the floor, pretend to be asleep, died, choose where to run and run in the right direction, stop in time, etc., everything what our smaller brothers are capable of - animals. But, alas, human fear more often than animal fear turns from rational to irrational.

This irrational fear does not even arise at the epicenter of events, not when we are in a danger zone, not at gunpoint. This fear just arises at the TV screen, and those who are responsible for the picture on this very TV know about it. Also know those who create the scenario of a terrifying event, unless, of course, it is a natural disaster.

The roots of irrational fear lie in the fact that a person feels unable to control the situation, to influence the course of events, using his personal qualities - vigilance, caution, attentiveness. They, of course, do not guarantee success, but they significantly reduce anxiety due to the fact that a person has the illusion of control. That is why people are less afraid to travel in cars than to fly in airplanes, despite the disappointing statistics for motorists.

Indeed, while driving, a person seems to control the road, he has a steering wheel in his hands, he presses on the pedals himself, drives the car himself, and therefore his own destiny. And on the plane, a person can only trust the pilot and the services responsible for the flight. Therefore, when we witness tragic events, we react irrationally, try to mentally imagine ourselves in a similar situation, and this makes it even more scary. And modern media can draw us into this funnel of universal fear. Maybe this is precisely their task? How do we react to this? The bravest ones turn off the TV, although it doesn't help much: information still leaks out, becoming available not only to adults, but also to children.

This radical method is the most effective. After all, as the wise King Solomon said, "knowledge increases sorrow." Another way to respond is to join the fear. That is why people hang flags on their avatars in social networks, discuss how the victims felt before they died, and go to unsafe rallies with the slogan "Do not intimidate us." All of this is reminiscent of a person who rides an elevator to overcome claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces).

Sometimes it helps, because this method allows a person to realize: he is not alone, there are still millions of people like him, intimidated, vulnerable, and they somehow cope, which means you can not be afraid. Paradoxically, many deal with their fear with provocative cynicism. Yes, in fact, cynicism is unpleasant and rude, but it is he who often saves from depression and can become a way of protecting against lies. After all, cynicism is a way to call things by their proper names, regardless of sympathies and preferences. With the help of cynicism, it is quite possible to protect oneself from unnecessary feelings, which rather interfere than help to think soundly in the face of a quick reaction to a situation.

Another way to overcome your fear is to fantasize about retribution. It seems to me that those who provoke our fear through terrorist acts are counting on this natural reaction. They understand that a person is so arranged that the thought of retribution can be pleasant, and it is she who makes people do the most desperate and rash acts. Chinese wisdom says: "if you want to take revenge, prepare two coffins," implying that whoever took the path of revenge himself will perish.

But fantasy and reality are very distant things. And often fantasies turn into lengthy reflections about "what will happen if …" These reflections are filled with the Internet and social networks, they pour from TV screens. They look for the guilty, express hatred, accuse someone and call on to punish, destroy the guilty. And why is the government silent, intelligence is inactive, where are the guards looking?

Finding the culprit is one of the most important stages in experiencing any trauma. At this stage, a person who directly experienced a terrorist attack really needs the help of narrowly specialized specialists - crisis psychologists, psychiatrists. When dealing with fears of unpredictable events, it is important not to go to extremes, which manifest themselves in both total disregard of security measures and paranoid hypervigilance. A healthy psyche quickly enough adapts to any, even the most unexpected and alarming situation. We are not talking about those who became a direct participant in the event - they need qualified help from specialists, perhaps for a fairly long time. But people who were not directly involved in the events may well take care of themselves.

An important resource is communication, the ability to reflect, empathize, feel the pain of others, while trying not to look for the guilty and not to radiate hatred. It is important that there is someone to rely on - for children it should be parents or people who take on their functions. The child still knows too little about this frightening world, its harsh laws and structure, which means he will not be able to cope on his own. He needs a significant, safe adult nearby who will not scold him for cowardice, but will offer himself as a support. It is important to demonstrate to your child that you are in control of the situation and your emotions in relation to it.

It is advisable to protect children from such information as much as possible. Find a space where you feel safe, an activity that enthralls you so much that fear fades into the background. It is important to do your usual things, not to let your body do "downtime" so that during these periods fear does not seize bodily. Physical activity is a way to reflect bodily reactions. Watch your breathing, in case of panic, try to calm down and find those who are calm. You should not be afraid to ask for help if fear has really taken hold of you. Now in our country there are enough specialists who can help you. It is normal for sentient beings to ask for help. It's not a shame to ask. Do not be indifferent when you see that someone needs your help or in cases where you feel that someone is in danger.

For example, a person or a group of people behaves in something unusual, their behavior makes you feel dissonant in this context. Vigilance has saved many lives!

Psychologists have long noticed that when a person helps others, he himself stabilizes and calms down faster. Helping others is also a resource that makes it possible not to fall into depression, not to panic, and to be in shape. Life does not give us one hundred percent guarantees, and at any moment something unpleasant and even irreparable can happen.

The world is fragile and we are mortal. But we do not know how much has been released to us and what awaits tomorrow. Maybe this is what gives us faith that we will live. To live, not to be afraid and not to postpone anything for tomorrow.