Harm To Maternal Care

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Mother's love is very important to a child. It is a resource that provides lifelong support. But sometimes this love becomes suffocating, restricts and does not allow to grow.

I was approached by the mother of a boy Misha (the name has been changed, of course), 7 years old, who had just started school and started having difficulties with his peers and the teacher.

Boy's mom:

- The teacher is indifferent to my son and all children in general. She doesn't give a damn and she doesn't want to spend even the slightest time on children.

Psychologist:

- How is this specifically manifested?

Mother:

- Yesterday she took the children out into the street and did not even look how they were dressed! Whoever has a hat on one side, who hasn't put on warm pants, it's cold outside!

Psychologist:

- Why should she care?

Mother:

- She's a teacher!

Psychologist:

- You see, our problems often stem from the fact that it seems to us that someone owes us. From not meeting expectations. It seems to us that someone should do what we think is right. This is not the case. Everyone has their own correctness.

I think that the teacher cares. She just does not have time to possibly control everyone or does not attach such importance as you do.

Mother:

- And what to do? The teacher doesn't understand and I don't understand. It'll be this way forever?

Psychologist:

- Let it go. Misha needs this experience too - strange, incomprehensible teachers, offending classmates. We cannot and should not fence off children from everything, otherwise where will they gain experience, grow? In adulthood, there are all sorts of people and not always good ones. How will he learn to get along with them? Give him the opportunity to take responsibility himself. Only in this way will he learn to think.

The less we delve into school matters, teach lessons with him, the better. This may seem strange and complicated at first glance. But this is a fact. This is his school. He must himself learn to cope with his problems, and not because his mother said, but because he realized that he was better off this way. Do you feel the difference? Of course, he can and has the right to slip into deuces, but this is his problem. He will come out of it himself. The key word here is "SAM". The main thing is to convey to him that his mother TRUST HIM. But such a position in our understanding of a caring mother is very difficult to accept. But it is in this position that the child grows and turns into a responsible adult.