2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
At the reception a woman over 30. Energetic, husband, children, work.
From the very beginning of the session he speaks a lot, jumps from topic to topic. An unbroken stream about a new interesting project, about children, about dissatisfaction with my husband … I listen and try to understand what it is like? A hasty story, sentences with swallowed endings, a smile on any occasion, as if a little from the bottom up …
My childhood. I am the eldest in a large family, and I really want my mother's attention! You catch it drop by drop and you have to shove everything there. Better good - this makes mom smile.
It is important to separate whose experience it is. In order not to inadvertently start pushing your feelings to the client as his own. I gently stop and ask you to listen to yourself why there are so many words.
She pauses for a moment and suddenly begins to cry.
She was raised by her grandmother until she was 7 years old, her mother rarely came and for a short time. I had to have time to tell my mother everything, everything: about the neighbor's boy, and about the lost hairpin, and about the gift they gave on March 8, and about the new book … While mom is still listening, while here, while postponing all her important adult affairs …
I ask her to take her time and feel that in fact she really wanted to tell her mother then, but was it impossible?
Pause. And then, not in my own deaf voice, abruptly: “I am good. Don't go away!"
Sobbing no longer holding back, no longer even crying - howling. I don’t stop. Now a very important work is underway - a meeting with my huge grief. I look at her - a successful adult girl and mentally stroke her on the top of her head. I am near and it is important - to grieve with someone together, who will endure, will not push me away.
Gradually, sobs change to sobs and she looks out from under her arm. Smiling! As if spring bright air was added to the office. She speaks slowly, her body is soft, breathing is deep. I'm smiling.
Carried out. He sat down on the sofa where she was just sitting. And in my head there is such an important thing: "I'm good, don't go!"
(narrated with permission)
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