What Does "LET GO OF THE SITUATION" Mean?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Why is the question exactly so? Because nowadays it is very fashionable to give advice on how best to act in a given situation. The most fashionable recommendation is "so you just let go of the situation and - EVERYTHING."

If a person could RELEASE the situation, he would have RELEASED it long ago. By the way, this is basically what he does without even noticing it. But, there are situations with which it is difficult, with which it is difficult, with which it is unbearable and which is not possible to let go. A person is so charged with this situation that it is rather not he who holds her, but she keeps him in captivity. This is the whole point.

How does this happen? Let's take a look at everything in order.

So there is a certain situation

- there is a relation to this situation

- there are feelings that are experienced in connection with this situation

- there are thoughts that explain this situation

- there are thoughts that explain why this is the way to treat this situation

- there are thoughts that reflect specific feelings about this situation

- there are words that express specific feelings about this situation

- there is silence, which helps to "stifle" those feelings that are difficult to meet and difficult to endure. Therefore, they remain unconscious.

But this does not mean that they have disappeared and do not affect your life. Namely, they are these unconscious feelings and do not allow you to RELEASE THE SITUATION.

Failure can occur at one of the above levels or at several levels at once. The challenge is to figure out where the failure is and fix that failure.

If a person asks for help from a psychologist, psychotherapist who work in the psychoanalytic direction, then the work will be aimed at finding exactly those thoughts or ideas that trigger specific feelings and attitudes towards this situation.

When this thought or idea is found, you can consider it, get to know it more closely, find out where she comes from, how old she is. Why then was this thought or idea appropriate? Why did she help to cope with such situations before, and why isn't she helping now? Then the work will be aimed at tracking how this thought or idea was embodied in your life on specific stories. Much attention is paid to articulating those feelings that have been suppressed or repressed. This allows you not only to realize these feelings, but also to live them. The next step is to develop a new attitude to the situation and try to translate it into real life.

You will feel that you are in control of the situation, and that it is not you and you will be able to RELEASE it.

My favorite "pitfall" on the way to this result is a thought that I hear very often. There comes a moment when there is a feeling that everything is CLEAR, but NOT CLEAR what to do next with it. Agree that even the wording sounds strange - "I understand everything, but I don't understand what to do next?" Usually, if there is a problem and it is not clear how to solve it, you study the issue, find solutions and implement it. But everything is not so simple here.

I have such an association - we have all learned to read at some point. First they learned the alphabet, then they read the slogan, then words, then sentences, and only then it turns out to read fluently and with expression. This takes some time. Someone has more, someone less, depending on the desire, zeal and interest in reading. But, you probably noticed that children often lose interest in the early stages. It seems to them that they have already learned the alphabet. They tried very hard. They began to read syllables and then put them into words. EVERYTHING - says the child - I CAN READ. But, reading does not bring pleasure, because he does not understand the meaning of what he read. He is angry, he is disappointed. It turns out that you need to learn to read fluently, with expression, with punctuation marks in order to understand the meaning of what is written. He understands how to read, but does not understand what to do with it. Well, he doesn’t understand at all, but as if he doesn’t understand. Why should he “not understand”?

- because it is difficult to put in the effort

- because mom or dad can read their favorite book

- because if I read myself, then I am already an adult, but I want to be still small

- because not only "I want" appears, but also "I must"

Thus, a situation arises when the child needs to search for his own meanings. These meanings will help him learn to take responsibility for himself and open up new opportunities for him. A child, of course, cannot cope with such a task on his own. For this he has assistants - mom and dad. True, they do not always manage to help the child, and then he brings these problems into adulthood.

Why such a long digression? This I mean that an adult still carries his childhood problems and cannot part with them. Therefore, when a similar situation arises in adulthood, he returns to his childhood state, where he did not cope and experienced very strong feelings (anger, resentment, powerlessness, etc.). The situation takes possession of him instantly. As before, there is no person nearby who would help to realize what is happening and show how you can cope with it.

It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that in order to learn to let go, you need to do hard work on yourself. I would like to just pick up and RELEASE. But, nevertheless, we are all already quite adult people and we understand that "as much as you put in effort - so much, at the exit, and you will get it."

Alla Kishchinskaya