How To Find The Conflict That Triggered Your Neurosis Yourself

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If you suffer from panic attacks, psychosomatics (lump in the throat, IBS, tension headaches, extrasystoles, tremors in the body, difficulty breathing, etc.), anxious or obsessive thoughts, severe fatigue or insomnia. That. You. Exactly. Want to. Understand. Why. This is. Happens. Co. Me.

So, the basis of any neurosis is not just "stress," nerves "or some difficult life circumstances. Because of which you have symptoms. The basis of neurosis is an internal conflict of your needs, which arises from certain circumstances, creates a feeling of stress, and later leads to symptoms.

The problem with your inner conflict is that you clearly and accurately notice the symptoms, but the conflict is outside of consciousness, in the unconscious. And therefore it is difficult for you to understand, realize and eliminate it. And here 4 tips are important for you.

First tip. Uncertainty.

Neurosis is a disease of not made decisions. Any unacceptable decision (significant and global) can be a source of permanent overvoltage. A classic example. Your partner no longer suits you (there was betrayal, betrayal, over time, his behavior in the relationship became unacceptable). But you do not leave him (her). Because leaving your partner creates new and very big problems for you (I have children, now I need to look for someone new, but I have no job, I need to share property, etc.). Total. The decision to accept and forgive the partner is not made. The decision to leave is not accepted either. Outwardly, there is no stress, but every contact with a partner (the most common and everyday) feeds your inner tension. Even if you don't realize it. It is important to understand that the decision is NOT made because in each of its options some of your needs will go to the minus.

Second tip. Inconsistency.

Neurosis is precisely the conflict of internal needs. And this conflict is always reflected in your behavior. And often it is reflected in the form of inconsistent behavior. For example, you openly and sincerely declare your desire. Find a job, move, start a new relationship, make more money. But! At some point, you start sabotaging the movement towards your goals. Someone at the same time begins to hang labels on themselves (I am lazy, incapable, cowardly, etc.), someone is looking for techniques and ways to increase motivation. In fact, at such moments you are hindered by your unconscious needs, which through your emotions (fear, anxiety, disappointment, shame, guilt, etc.) block your motivation.

Hint three. Peak emotions.

Neurosis is also a self-restraint disorder. Restraint is not only and not so much emotional (just here the symptoms can be the opposite - you can gush with irritability, anxiety, tears), but restraint in the direction of realizing your needs. Such restraint forces you to behave in a strictly defined way with loved ones, colleagues, management, clients. But at what moment (without bright provoking factors) you seem to explode. In the form of an emotional drain or conflict (more often). Such a surge seems inadequate from the outside (and you too, but later, after the conflict). But it is conditioned by something. And this something is your internally conflicting needs.

Hint four. Trigger situations.

A trigger is a trigger, a trigger moment that repeats over and over again. For example, when you are actively thinking about some person, about some circumstance. When you are faced with certain people or circumstances. Or you find yourself in a certain place. The trigger repeats and you start having symptoms. Almost immediately or a little later (with a gradual increase). In fact, a trigger is a kind of push, pushing to exacerbate your inner conflict at the level of needs.

What else do you need.

A) A list of basic needs that are in your psyche

B) Ability to understand / realize that some needs you have are in deep minus

C) Ability to correlate needs with the circumstances of reality around you

And, in fact, that's all. Well, like everyone else. This is already difficult enough. But it is promising. After all, the search for internal conflict is much more useful than fixation on symptoms (such fixation only generates tension and intensification of symptoms).

Good luck in finding your own internal conflict (or conflicts, there are several). If you have any questions, feel free to write them in the comments.