The Artificial World Of Narcissistic Trauma

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The artificial world of narcissistic trauma.

In the beginning there was silence. Absence followed her. And then salvation came. Something entered the void and saw you in it, after the grandiose crash of your soul ship flying to the stars happened, when at the very start you suffered a crushing fall, when caring warm hands did not catch your fragile soul, when forces hit the firmament of the soul, it came it, an imperceptible and invisible something that has become your support and replaced your soul. Such early tragedies, such deep narcissistic wounds, create a world in which you are alone and there is no one else there, there are only dead objects of the world and something that accompanies you among these objects. It is as if an artificial Self that arose at the moment of the split of the world of your soul, designed to ensure your survival in the world of the dead, but not in the world of the living, as if accompanying your path away from yourself, as if tacitly agreeing with your mental deadness, but not deviating from his own, selfish, idea of the salvation of the soul in need of salvation and bringing it into the world of Others. But these Others are not here, just as there are no other incarnations of yours, there is no surface of contact between I and You, there are no walls and boundaries, there is only a meaningless expanse of disappearing incarnations, collapsing phantoms of your movement from the past into the future, there is nothing that would remind you of what you are. This artificial Self, comes at the moment of the strongest life shock, when the world, as it is and could be for you, ceases to exist, when I ceases to exist, and this artificial Self becomes your artificial soul and your artificial world, immersing you in a shell, as it were, of artificial intelligence, completely imitating for you a full-fledged life flowing inside you as a stream of images from a TV screen, visible only to you alone, and completely invisible to an external observer, to a real Other. The real goal of this artificial Self is to save your soul (and your body too) from death, keeping it at the level of the minimum sufficient sense of your being, reduced only to contemplation of your own phantoms constantly disappearing and building schemes of interaction with the dead objects of your dead world. The artificial self gives you life in the psychological death of narcissistic personality disorder and, at the same time, completely deprives you of contact with a potential radical hope of healing, a hope that is not even possible in your imagination. The artificial self protects you, really protects, because Others, who are endowed with an integral soul, will want to heal you, obeying the will of their undivided Self, which is healing in itself. But for you they are hell, they, who came from another world, knowing nothing about your grief, they can heal, but only by touching your wound, turning it upside down, they make your pain alive and plunge you into the agony of the primary death of the soul. Unfortunately, there is no other way of healing, and, unfortunately, these Others do not know about it. Therefore, the appearance in your dead world controlled by the artificial self of something alive in the face of the Other causes panic, because the way of life distorted by the artificial self is seen for you in the image of death, terrible, familiar, terribly painful for you. Others brought you into this world and left you alone to die in it. Others are hell for you. But life wants you to live and sends you an angel, an artificial angel of life from the world of real death. He saves you, walks by your side and hugs you. Since then, you no longer need anyone, because the artificial angel of life replaces you with the living world of prematurely departed parents.