How To Make A Decision? Instructions For Use

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-07 22:18

Niccolo Machiavelli:

I'd rather regret

what did you do than about

what did not have time to do!"

The world of any of us consists of many choices! Sometimes the responsibility for the choice can be shared with someone, or shifted onto someone else's shoulders, but more often than not, it is up to us to make a choice and make a decision. And the decision must be the most correct, the most balanced and correct. Otherwise, failures and a streak of failures are inevitable, which is what we are always afraid of …

Imagine that you are in uncertainty: you do not know what decision to make.

A visit to a specialist (for example, a psychologist) is unavailable for some reason, and friends and relatives suggest “not that”. To go to fortune-tellers and psychics - "not your option", but "OK, Google!" doesn't know the answer …

Then try using these tables.

First - Descartes' Square.

For myself, I christened her "Intellectual". Just for those who like to give reasoning and "live with the mind, not the heart."

Let's take an example: you want to change jobs.

Your 1st step and the answer to the question: what will happen if this happens?

You change the team, management, wages and working conditions, possibly a position or profession. Make new acquaintances and connections. And again go through the adaptation (you still have to adapt to the new environment).

Analyze the answers to emerging questions by type: will they accept me in the team or not? Will I have a good boss or not? Will I be able to cope with the new responsibilities or will I not reach this level? etc.

2nd step: what will happen if this does not happen?

The answer is simple: you stay in the comfort / discomfort zone again (if the job is unloved), and you do not lose or gain anything.

3rd step: what will not happen if it does not happen?

You will not be new: in new conditions, with a new team, with new perspectives, with a new stage in life. Remaining in the same conditions, you will not be able to understand whether it would be better or worse to change jobs or activities in general.

4th step: what will not happen if this happens?

There will be no reason why you are tired in your past workplace, you will leave your former comfort zone into the unknown, take a risk, and either drink champagne (as one saying goes), or you will face something difficult, acquiring new knowledge and skills.

The second The table is taken from a workshop on body-oriented therapy (bodynamics).

I christened it "Emotionally Effective": I understand how I feel, and I realize how I should act.

Example: your friend borrowed an N-amount of money from you. He promised to return to such and such a date, but he did not keep his promise. He gets in touch with you, regularly reports on how many problems / debts he has, and that "as soon as possible, right away" …

1st step: What do you feel?

• In relation to a friend. Do you feel anger, irritation, disappointment, powerlessness, contempt, resentment …? Feeling offended?
• Regarding the situation itself. Are you angry with yourself - "how long can you step on the same rake?" Or maybe you are replaying what happened in your head and enthusiastically refusing a loan to a friend ….? Or blame the country, corruption, poor living conditions of your own and / or a friend?
• What happens to you when you remember debt?

Your bodily sensations are important here. If your hands involuntarily clench into fists, you can't wait to strike the offender, or you are so upset that you have no strength to hold back tears, and a nasty lump stuck in your throat … then your body reacts to what happened. And it is important to react to your accumulated emotions through screaming, crying, sports or breaking dishes …

2nd step: what do you want to get?

• Money
• Full satisfaction (Satisfaction is considered a public apology, admission of one of the parties' own wrongness, satisfying the requirements of the other party).

3rd step: how are you going to act to get what you want?

• Turn to the conscience of a friend: remind of duty, "press on pity."
• Offer options for solving the problem: repay the debt in parts, “work off” the money by fulfilling your instructions, “re-borrow” this amount from other people …
• Teach the debtor a lesson
• Let it be as it is. He himself will come and give, over time

Step 4: what actually came out of this story?

• You are left without money
• You've lost your trust in a friend
• You are looking for a source of income to fill a hole in your budget.
• Now you know that this friend may not keep his word.

If the received data suits you, then feel free to make a decision. If not, then start a new cycle of work with the plate, be sure to start with feelings, and not skipping a single step!

Also try to use a well-known method: divide a piece of paper into 2 columns, and write down in the first everything positive that you see in your choice, in the second - everything negative that this decision may entail.

Add time perspective to it all - Susie Welch's 10-10-10 method. Imagine what will happen to you in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years, if this particular option from the list becomes your final one.

Finally, sleep well! After all, it is not for nothing that folk wisdom says: "the morning is wiser than the evening" and "you need to sleep with this thought." While a person is sleeping, his subconscious mind works and analyzes the received material, rejecting the unnecessary, and highlighting the best way to solve the problem! Just in case, prepare a piece of paper and a pen before bed to jot down fresh ideas upon waking up.

And at the end of your thoughts, I ask you, when making a decision, think about the consequences, and not just about the quick achievement of the result!