2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What is the difference between deep therapy and superficial therapy? In my opinion, there is only one thing - real therapy implies for each client a direct meeting with the most unpleasant, the most avoided. That's all.
Everything else can be called the same word "psychotherapy", but often imply differently. And this is not a bad thing, not everyone is ready for real therapy, to heal himself from the self of which he has right now with a heap of unresolved issues and problems. Much more often, in 9 cases out of 10, a person wants to add knowledge, figure it out, find out answers, find reasons, needs explanations from a more authoritative person - the one sitting in the chair opposite, just not to change anything in himself, just to stay the same himself that is right now, just not to lose a grain of himself that a person knows. And a weak psychotherapist will certainly give you a lot of instructions, give a lot of explanations, some of them will certainly satisfy you and lull you to sleep for a while. Perhaps your therapist will not give you any advice, but will lead you along the beaten track to a pre-prepared recipe, of which he, of course, has a lot - on every shelf for every case, all according to the recipe, according to the catalog. Yes, you are full - after all, someone has just fed you freshly prepared "fish".
Units are ready to learn to fish and cook themselves. This requires great courage. A real therapist never knows exactly the recipe, does not know what exactly will help you, but it is this ignorance of the real therapist that opens up the opportunity to deeply feel what is happening not from pre-prepared formulas and methods, but based on your being and on the uniqueness of the current situation. I will be a little bolder and say that only a few are familiar with this - independent fishing and cooking.
Basically, it is much more convenient to go to a ready-made place where the fish has long been caught and ready. This is not bad, sometimes it is necessary and important. But be empathetic and attentive - you remain dependent on an authoritative helper - on whoever catches and who cooks. You are still a child with an outstretched hand, to whom the new "mom and dad" will explain everything, chew, feed and calm down.
No no. Real therapy does not mean rest. More precisely, it means, but only after a direct direct meeting with the gut of anxiety. This is what I mean by the ability to catch and cook fish: courage, the ability to independently face what exactly frightens you, worries, worries, causes misunderstanding, frustration, perhaps panic or depression.
A real psychotherapist understands this very sensitively and will not give you a single ready-made recipe, he can be next to you on the lake shore, you can go together and buy a line with a spinning rod or a simple fishing rod (depending on your needs). And only with a real professional you will surely sooner or later find yourself on the lake in the contemplative peace of silence, enjoying fishing. Having caught a fish you will be incredibly surprised and happy, because for the first time you will find that you are capable of it, it turns out that it is available to you as well - so you will know that it is available to everyone.
But catching a fish is half the battle. A real therapist will help you deliver this fish to the right place - to the oven or will be nearby helping to make a fire together to cook this fish. But a real therapist will never fish or cook for you. He knows perfectly well that he will do you a disservice by feeding you something ready.
And all this fishing, of course, will take place in private, next to your psychotherapist, without even leaving the hall or office.
Author: Anatoly Tokarsky
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