Why Did The Relationship Become Dull, The Feelings Went Away, What To Do?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It often happens that your relationship, which in the beginning gave you a lot, becomes uncomfortable over time. You no longer feel such attention to yourself, difficulties in understanding appear. Joint activities or leisure activities do not bring the satisfaction that they used to be. Even sex with a loved one, it seems, is no longer so passionate and frequent. Your relationship turns into a cohabitation of two people who get used to living this way.

To explain this situation in their relationships, people often use templates like: "Love lives for three years", "A person gets used to everything", "Eternal love does not exist, everything goes out." But do these explanations bring you anything other than a negative mood? Does your condition improve when you explain to yourself what is happening in your life? I believe the answer will be no.

Yes, of course, over time, the relationship in a couple changes, but it is entirely in your power to choose in which direction they will change. After all, we need love and all the "chemistry" like a match to light a fire. However, the fire goes out if you do not throw firewood into it. This is called developing a relationship or working on it.

In reality, there is stagnation; by the way, our beliefs are also responsible for this. Having created a couple or a family, people seem to calm down, believing that now everything will be fine, by itself. And this is the biggest mistake.

A man often does nothing to develop a relationship, adhering to the belief that in the beginning he courted, invested (not only financially), he achieved this woman and now she must love him. If earlier he often gave flowers to his beloved woman, now he rarely does it. Why, the woman has become not so beloved? It is believed that it is already possible to stop making small gifts, because we live together, why spend extra money and your time on such purchases.

Everything is very logical, only bad luck, when we stop pleasing a woman, she ceases to rejoice, and, accordingly, to feel happy, and to give the man her love, care and attention.

A woman, who at first really wanted to please a man, begins to convince herself that if they are now together, then he must understand her. The point is that a man must understand not only some desires, but also the behavior of a woman, and even better, learn to read minds and constantly enter the position of a woman. After all, now you can relax, and the thought that an unkempt woman does not want to give flowers rarely comes to mind.

It is clear that a holiday cannot be daily. But, at the beginning of the relationship, the woman praised and thanked the man (sincerely, you can see this from the eyes). And he strove to do something else. And then, what the man was doing began to be taken for granted. Both gratitude and praise were gone. And after these, the actions of the man disappeared.

Imagine, in the spring you planted some vegetables on your site, spent time, effort, planting material. In the fall, you have harvested. But next year you thought that you have no need to waste time, effort and planting material, they say, the harvest will be like that. What will you get in the fall? After all, it is clear that in order to regularly entrust the harvest, you need to perform certain actions, without this there will definitely not be a harvest.

The relationship is the same, it is impossible to sow something once and get the result every year. In nature, only weeds do not need care. Do you want your relationship to be like weeds?

The most common question that arises during consultations is the question of who should begin to reanimate the relationship. Often both he and she take a childish position: “Let him / she start!”. Anyone can start, usually, it is done by someone who is emotionally more mature and does not confuse pride and pride. When people resume those actions that were at the beginning of the relationship, then usually, this gives a chain reaction from the other, of course, if there really were feelings in the beginning.

Relationships again begin to bring pleasure and satisfaction, and at the same time, the lives of the people themselves are changing, who were able to change their beliefs, for the sake of each other.

Live with joy!

Anton Chernykh.