2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A "funny" thought lives in the minds of some women - about 100% responsibility for the quality of partnerships.
Not just "strange", but cannibalistic - dragging into the abyss of guilt, shame and anxiety.
In the light version, this idea is wrapped in the idea of a woman's super ability to ignite a man for achievements in the outside world. In a difficult version - alone to be responsible for the safety of family happiness. ⠀ What is this, anyway? ⠀ Trying to extinguish the blazing anxiety and keep in the illusion of control over what is happening? After all, as long as I “influence” and “answer” for everything myself, then I can correct something, change something? ⠀ Or is it a way to win the competition from the outside world, to emphasize your exclusivity, to draw attention to yourself? Moreover, it doesn't matter what kind of attention. If she coped with the task - social applause and admiration. If she tried her best, but failed, to earn sympathy - poor thing, she did so much for her husband, and he … And this is also about competition, only in failures. If I cannot compete in happiness, I will compete in unhappiness: I will become the “poorest thing” and in this very visible. ⠀ And also “to influence” and “be responsible” for relationships is a good reason not to take care of your life, your realization and personal development. A way to realize an unconscious prohibition on yourself, for happiness. His own, personal. Even if for someone it looks a little strange, wrong. On the importance of my I next to the I of other people. On the importance of your feelings, thoughts, on a good attitude towards yourself simply because I am, and not because a good wife. ⠀ Whatever is behind the idea of 100% responsibility of a woman for pair relationships, I disagree with her. ⠀ A woman should not suppress unwanted needs, uncomfortable feelings for others, should not make the comfort and success of other people the goal of her life. ⠀ Relationships are only part of a fulfilling life, not the whole life. There is also a relationship with the outside world, social realization, self-knowledge, dreams. There is a lot more. ⠀ I deliberately do not write about the fact that responsibility for paired relationships is automatically divided into two, and that each partner is responsible for personal realization alone. It's clear to me like God's day. I'm talking about something else. ⠀ About attitudes that with or without relationship problems a woman automatically becomes wrong, abnormal. ⠀ Limiting yourself to the framework of only one relationship is like leaving the day without night, the sun without the moon, heat without coolness. Life is boring if there are no passionate nights, dancing under the moon, wind entangled in your hair. ⠀ 100% responsibility for one's own happiness is the only and possible norm in the life of every woman. There are so many tasks in life: learning to love and respect yourself, dreaming, discovering the potential of opportunities, exploring a personal version of the norm for yourself and accepting this norm as something special. ⠀ One that is worthy of respect and recognition. Just because I AM.
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