Vulnerability And Responsibility Part 2 (connection Between Sacrifice, Dependence And Lack Of Responsibility)

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In the previous part, we briefly looked at how lack of responsibility and decision-making skills are correlated with mental retardation. That women, due to social upbringing, have more problems with these skills than men. Therefore, therapy in men is more often faster and easier.

Responsibility goes hand in hand with decision making, or as we often call this group of cognitive skills, determination. The social stereotype defines decisiveness as a gender quality. Although the analysis of the stages of psychological development defines it as an inalienable quality for completing the transition to tz. psychological maturity.

Decisiveness, and with it responsibility, as integral parts of one cognitive system, are the qualities of a healthy adult. which successfully passed the stage of addiction, and later separation (counterdependency). Without going through these stages, we cannot talk about psychological adulthood.

We can only talk about the endowed qualities of dependence, definition and assessment of ourselves, our attitude, and as a consequence of actions from the opinions of other people, i.e. codependency manifested more often in women, or dependence on objects and systems, manifested more often in men. Or the counterdependencies of both sexes.

Counterdependents are similar to healthy ones because they know how to make decisions and be responsible, but this is always an escape from something, in contrast to healthy people who do not run away from something, but go towards something (goal).

Addicts avoid responsibility and decision making and are the most vulnerable. They are not subjects, but objects, so to speak. Therefore, therapy with them is much more difficult.

But there is also a certain social context, if alcohol, drug addiction is condemned by society, then codependency was previously elevated to a certain standard of correct behavior for a woman. This trend can be observed further in post-Soviet countries and in all developing countries, where the woman and her body are still objectified. Although if we look at the red light district in modern Amsterdam, we will not find a man in the window.

A codependent person is always a child; a child is not fully able to make decisions on his own, and even more so be responsible for them. A child in the body of an adult who can go to work, even run his own business, but more from the need to survive, and internally want someone to save him from this (a man is a hero), and not do it from an internal desire - to be, and to be means to express yourself.

The woman got the opportunity to be a subject, not an object not so long ago. But getting an opportunity and taking advantage of it are two different things.

Continuing the theme of responsibility and dependence in women.

If a person avoids making decisions, he thus avoids responsibility for his life and for the result of its activities. And as a consequence, it transfers it to someone or something. So it becomes dependent on the circumstances. Becomes the object of life. A sacrifice.

Thus, he falls into the trap of helplessness. While the circumstances around are favorable: you are a beautiful, young, healthy man next to you can and wants to take responsibility for you: the family budget, the risks associated with this, a woman may not work or work at a job that does not give a financial result. In such conditions, a woman must maintain her objectivity, that is, do and be what pleases the one on whom she is dependent. But dependence on a person is the most dangerous, because it is impossible to satisfy a person. And this is always the most risky game where you cannot win, only lose. In any case, circumstances will change from favorable, youth will go away, and with it beauty and health.