2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
My day in kindergarten was coming to an end. I was already finishing the reporting red tape and was going to go home. But suddenly there was a knock on the door and mother and son appeared.
- Hello. Please test it for school readiness. In the meantime, I'll take the little one … And can I put your bags here? They are so heavy …
And she left. The boy went into the study and sat down on the sofa. Looked around.
- Hey. What is your name? How old are you?
- Kolya. I'm soon 6. But you know, I don't want to do tests, I'd rather draw. Can?
I, slowly coming to my senses, willingly agreed to his proposal. Largely because I can’t meet my mother’s expectations: I just don’t know tests for five-year plans for school readiness.
Kolya decided to paint with paints and prepared everything he needed for himself. I watched him quietly. He gave the impression of a rather grown-up child, carefully putting on oversleeves, an apron, tied a knot himself and poured water. And then he began to paint.
A spiral appeared on the sheet, and, looking at this detailed boy, I even tuned in to a conversation about the meaning of life. But then under this curl he drew a puddle with eyes and sticks sticking out.
- Snail. Here.
- And what would this snail want?
- Crawl.
- Well, here's a rug, please. At your disposal.
But Kolya climbed onto the sofa, turned his back to me and began to slowly crawl off it. He pulled his legs to his stomach, strained it, his arms and head pulled up to his chest. It cost him a lot of effort without changing this position, slowly, over and over again, safely down to the floor. Something important to him was happening now.
- Kolya, why are you back to me?
- Because when I look at you, it seems to me that I am breaking some rule.
“Remember to breathe deeply,” I advise. But Kolya says that he has no time to breathe deeply.
Then his slippage ended and he went to play in the sand. And at some point he asked me:
- And what are we going to tell mom now? I haven't done any tests …
- Well, today I won't talk to your mom, because it's time for everyone to go home. Until tomorrow I’ll think of something, don’t worry. There is time.
Obviously, for Kolya, this game is about the need to slow down and rest. And also about the adoption of his processes, the right to your own pace. And for me, it's also about the need to live a regression, to be small: after all, the "snail" pose was very similar to the embryonic one, and the process itself resembled birth. And, also, this is also a big separate topic about the ability to share your needs and the needs of the child. And a good guideline here can be information on age-related developmental tasks.
I composed this story, summarizing my previous experience of working with children and parents, when I returned with my daughter from the clinic. On the table next to me, a woman was dressing her child. The girl had a toy in her hands: she was slowly and confidently shifting it from hand to hand, carefully and intently examining it, and clearly did not strive to eat it or throw it away. At that moment, a bunch of thoughts flashed through my head about whether everything is all right with my child, and if not, then I also came up with reasons. I overcame my awkwardness and asked the woman how old her girl was. Mine, I say, is 4 months old, and why does she behave differently with everything that falls into her hands … The woman thought about it and said: “6 months 3 weeks. But everything will start soon for you too, somewhere at 5."
"Fuuuh!" I gasped. Six months three weeks. Will still grow. Still have time.
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