2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Why does an independent woman need a man? This topic regularly causes a real battle of ice in psychological groups on social networks. It seems that the question does not just open Pandora's box, but smashes it into smithereens.
It turns out, if you believe the comments, a huge number of women still believe that (quote): "a strong and independent woman is a man." Or "there is a clear division into male and female responsibilities." And also "a man must necessarily lie, pretending to be weak and helpless, so as not to frighten off." In general, men are encouraged to view men as narrow-minded and primitive creatures who do not understand that they are being used in the dark. This fact made me write down in a column how relationships are usually built in the world of adult capable people.
There are no purely masculine or feminine responsibilities. Except perhaps the ability to bear children. Everyone decides for himself what he can do himself, what he is ready to pay for. But what a partner wants to take on can only be found in an open and honest dialogue. And only with his or her consent.
Self-reliance is a skill that has nothing to do with gender. Women assemble furniture beautifully, and men cook wonderfully. Both of them have long mastered the delivery of products, learned to delegate unbearable tasks to specialists and prefer to do what gives them pleasure. The days of exchanging borscht for a hammered nail are long gone.
There is nothing supernatural about independence. This is a normal adult condition and should not be supported or serviced by anyone. In a world of adequate people, partners jointly decide how to allocate the budget. And also, who will take care of the children, and who is more profitable to take out a loan for housing. Caring for loved ones has not been canceled, but it is expressed not in obligation, but in the desire to give pleasure to a loved one. For example, help, give something, cook a tasty treat, or just cover with a blanket. The key word is desire, not duties imposed by someone on edge.
The degree of female adaptation to independent life does not in any way affect the partner's self-esteem. Of course, if it is initially adequate. An intelligent, mature man will be proud of his woman's accomplishments. He will not artificially cultivate helplessness and complexes in his partner in order to look good against her background. The state "I am a cat - I have paws" from time to time is characteristic of both successful business women and tough guys. The main thing is that it does not turn into a habitual means of manipulation.
Manipulation hasn't made anyone happy yet. If a woman pretends to keep a man, she humiliates him, turning him into a wretched and narrow-minded person who is unable to survive the wealth of a loved one. Do you need that?
You don't have to appear dumber than you are to remain attractive to the opposite sex. Lovely "what a fool is lovely" in life together quickly turns into a rude "what an idiot!" It is not at all necessary for a woman to behave like an incapable being in order to attract a man into her life. Rather, it is a way to attract the abuser and say goodbye to self-esteem forever. Adequate strong people of both sexes are not attracted by the everyday helplessness of a partner, but irritated.
A couple's relationship is more than an exchange of services. People are looking for partnership and care, so as not to disappear one by one. After all, in the end, it doesn't matter who chopped the wood and melted the stove, and who baked the cake and set the table. The main thing is that the house is warm and cozy.
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