2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Procrastination is a tendency to constantly postpone things “for later” (including important and urgent ones!). This state becomes a real problem when a person is in it most of the time - constant "disruptions" of planned activities, poor-quality results and, as a result, stress, guilt, troubles and missed opportunities. In fact, procrastination is a very slow but sure way to get to the edge of life.
Why fight procrastination, and how to do it?
What is the essence of procrastination? A person neglects specific important matters and is distracted by various trifles and entertainment. For example, skip classes at the institute and make a website at home, the purpose of which is not even really clear; do not go to work and do the cleaning at home; do not record an important video and wash the dishes, etc. It is common for everyone to procrastinate in one way or another - even the most successful! However, creative personalities suffer most from this psychological phenomenon - often it is the aesthetes of beauty who sit at home all day and only start to do any work by three o'clock.
What underlies the phenomenon of procrastination?
Fear of luck and victory, a feeling of fear of getting really meaningful results (as a rule, procrastination occurs at those moments when a person has a very high motivation). Fear of something new - you do not know what to do, so there is an unsettling feeling of “meeting a tiger.” Fear of disgrace in front of people around you. Fears of doing something stupid and making a mistake - suddenly I won't succeed; the result will be much worse than that of other people; will my expectations not be met? Fear of shame accompanies many of us (it doesn't matter if you have the makings of a perfectionist or not). Here I want to give a personal example - I could not do trainings for more than a year (I didn’t know how to conduct them correctly, I doubted every action), today it’s not a problem for me, but still it’s still far from ideal (a lot needs to be completed and worked out) … Lack of support and, as a result, lack of internal resources (you do not have energy, or it is simply spent fighting the oppressive feeling of fear of being ashamed and not getting moral support from loved ones)
You are trying to find information on how to do this, or you do not even know where to start - a lot of energy is wasted on all this. And even doing household chores (for example, cleaning the kitchen or washing the dishes), you nevertheless use up your inner resource in double amount - and for the important thing that you did not do and put off "for later." Thus, an overrun of energy is obtained. In addition, depression, increased anxiety, apathy and bad mood, high expectations may interfere with you (for example, my mother said that I should be the best, and my grandmother only expected high results - "five" in all subjects). In the latter case, no one often praises the child or rejoices in good grades (everything is limited to the standard phrase - “Yes, that's how it should be!”), The parents react only to “fours” and “threes”. As a result, the beginnings of a procrastinating nature are laid in a person.
Why is this happening? If you notice a person only in moments of failure, you will unconsciously provoke similar behavior so that you will be noticed when you are at the very bottom (“Oh, good! I need to go even lower, and my relatives will notice me - mom, dad, husband … ). Relatively speaking, you broadcast to others: “Look at me, what a poor thing I am! I can’t do anything, I don’t have the strength and energy … Pull me seven, I myself can’t do it!”).
The habit of getting instant gratification
In practice, it looks like this - you drain the accumulated energy and stress into petty household chores, "deceiving" your psyche ("Look, I am doing an important thing - washing dishes, cleaning the apartment, reading a book. I am not sitting still!") … As a result, the tension goes away, and the person makes a promise to himself to fulfill “that” business later. What happens next? Everything that is postponed "for later" is forgotten, this happens regularly, and a person simply degrades, does not think strategically and, accordingly, does not take a single step towards his success, in fact he takes the position of an opponent of any undertakings and attempts.
How to get rid of procrastination?
Sooner or later, the bad habit of channeling tension into the least resistance, avoiding important and priority tasks will lead to the fact that things will accumulate exponentially, and over time it will become difficult for you to force yourself to do them (for example, if I put off recording a video for a month, in I would end up recording 5-10 at once, not just one per day). It is understandable that you will resist completing the accumulated tasks. What do we have as a result? In the worst case, you suddenly find yourself on the edge of a life without work or money.
What to do?
For starters, you should catch yourself at the moment when you procrastinate and say: “Enough! I do not want to bring myself to the most extreme state of degradation!”Ask yourself what can happen if you do not change your behavior. Are you satisfied with life now? And what will happen if it stays the same - is this the norm for you?
If you answered yes, there is no point in reading further - return to your familiar environment and go further with the flow. However, as a rule, we all strive for development, this is due to our nature.
If you strongly disagree with the current state of affairs in your life, start catching yourself procrastinating. For example, you just decided to wash the dishes, but why don't you want to do a more urgent and important task? What are you afraid of? Shame, failure, defeat, condemnation of others, or maybe you don't even know where to start? Give yourself a specific answer
Answer the following questions:
- Do you have enough knowledge?
- What kind of knowledge do you lack?
- Do you lack energy? Where can you get the energy you need to move forward?
- Do you lack support? Where can you find it?
Try to use a rather interesting psychological technique - imagine that your endeavor is successful (for example, you successfully recorded a video, and millions of subscribers began to watch you). What emotions will you get? Will you achieve recognition, or will you be surrounded by envy, your family will disown you (relatives prefer and support only the poor, and those who succeed are treated with contempt and tacit condemnation)? Analyze the answers to these questions carefully. Think and remember for what actions in childhood you were loved, and for which they felt complete indifference to you. The phenomenon of procrastination is closely interconnected with the indifference of relatives and friends - most of all in life you are afraid of being in a situation where they will feel indifference to you. For example, no one praised you for an “A” or a beautiful drawing, but neither did you punish you, your relatives were apathetic and indifferent to this. As a result, a person gets stuck in the place of getting some really effective and important skills in life
Be sure to write down all the reasons that may have affected your current condition. Be honest with yourself, go to the depths of your soul, early childhood and the very first childhood experiences, honestly answer the question of what exactly you are afraid of in a particular situation, what you are missing, what is the real reason for procrastination.
So you've figured out the real nature of your procrastination. Now arrange a confrontation with yourself. Clearly and clearly make it clear to your consciousness that the responsibility for your life lies only with you. No one will fulfill your tasks for you and will not live your life, and the most important thing is that no one will give you anything just like that! At the very least, you will pay with suffering, anxiety, attention, or even psychological trauma. Make a to-do list for each day. If you find it difficult to start doing something, add this unwanted task to it every day. It is important to outline the most important task. If now it is unmanageable and difficult for you, break it down into subtasks, indicate specific steps to achieve the desired goal - just so that you probably already started to implement it today. Let it be just a small step - it doesn't matter!
Use the Pomodoro method - 25/5 (you work 25 minutes, rest 5 minutes). Do not drive yourself to work, allow yourself to rest and relax, collect your thoughts. Otherwise, you simply will not believe yourself, when you start to work again, you will knowingly understand that in the next three hours you will not be able to rest. We set rational limits in the workflow!
Use affirmations
It is a simple verbal formula written in a positive way that will allow you to consolidate the desired attitude in your subconscious mind (“I will succeed,” “I will find an additional resource,” “I have something to work for”). If you constantly scroll affirmations in your head or record them on a dictaphone, this will help you overcome the resistance of the psyche.
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