2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The fashionable nowadays mindfulness is not only about the ability to switch between modes of thinking and not thinking. This is also about the skill of reflection - the ability to think about how, in fact, you think, and why exactly, and why this particular thought.
We, for the most part, rarely think at all. More precisely, thoughts are formed in the head. Only we, past them, our own valuable observations and potential conclusions, often rush at full speed. Often we immediately jump into our own automatisms and learned stereotypes. And from there - into the same automatic emotional reactions.
Working with a therapist usually starts with a tremendous slowdown. The client is trying to download more useful information. And often the therapist stops this flow almost in the first 5-10 minutes of the conversation. He stores himself, figuratively speaking, simultaneously with a flashlight, a microscope and a magnifying glass, and begins to peer intently into what is happening. “What exactly happened in this situation?”, “What did you feel at that moment?”, “What exactly did you react to?”
In everyday situations, when one's own emotions or thoughts are unsettling, a simple study of facts helps to ground: "How did I actually understand this?" For example, if it suddenly seemed that the boss was disappointed in the results of your work on the project, then how did you, in fact, understand this? What do you notice has changed in her face? What exactly sounded different in the voice? How exactly was the behavior different?
This feeling of reality helps to disconnect from overwhelming emotions and conclusions rushing after them. By sorting out facts and observations on the shelves, you are likely to find that the boss's cold voice is the result of her tiredness after a three-hour meeting, and her face has changed simply because she was distracted from her personal thoughts. Also, this enumeration of "facts of the objective world" helps to concentrate.
So, if suddenly the excitement overflows, ask first your own five senses. It is possible that they have something to tell you, and they know how to calm you down.
Photo: Andrea Torres
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