Self-medication In Psychology

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

First, it is, of course, a solution to a specific urgent problem that is spoiling life right now. Any conflict, resentment, loss and everything else that arises situationally and … in general is healed with time, but with the help of psychology it is healed much faster.

Secondly, this is the maintenance of tone - regular, not particularly stressful work, the purpose of which is the preventive cleaning of psychological blockages. A sort of mental hygiene or psychological healthy lifestyle.

Thirdly, this is a work based on a deep interest in psychology and the development of consciousness. Not self-development in the general sense, but a highly specialized interest in the structure of the human and, especially, one's own soul. A natural way of becoming for a person who plans to somehow connect his life with psychology.

If the work of a good psychologist were free, all these tasks would be worth solving with his help - it would be easier, faster, and more efficient. The only exception, and even then very conditionally, can be considered the third way - the study of psychology. Here, focusing on your own strengths produces deeper results in the long term. But even in this case, one cannot do without communicating and working with those who already understand something in psychology, otherwise many years will be wasted on inventing another bicycle.

However, the truth of life is that psychologists also want to eat, and good psychologists want to eat even more - apparently, their energy consumption is higher. And hence the logical question arises as to whether it is possible to engage in psychology - at least your own - independently. Let's talk about this …

What in the field of psychological work can you do yourself? Strictly speaking, absolutely everything, because even when working with a psychologist, the actual work will always be done independently - the psychologist cannot do anything for his client's patient, but acts only as an expert advisor. Psychology is not surgery - it is impossible to tighten the necessary screws in the head without the active participation of this very head.

To illustrate, the analogy with a gym or any other fitness activity is very good. You can tone the body, pump up muscles, increase endurance on your own - you have to learn the theory, rebuild your lifestyle, make many mistakes, but still it is quite real. Or you can do the same under the guidance of a specially trained specialist. But even in this case, all the work, except for the intellectual one, will have to be done by yourself - in the end, the weights, in the end, will be lifted by you, and not by the coach.

To put your body in order on your own, you will have to become a coach yourself; in order to put your soul in order on your own, you will have to become a psychologist yourself. There is nothing impossible in this. The only question is whether the game is worth the candle.

Worldly wisdom says that everyone should do their own thing, and not try to be a jack of all trades. And this applies to psychological work to the same extent as any other. The time that will have to be spent on studying psychology and making all the inevitable mistakes, perhaps it would be more efficient to spend on earning money to pay for the services of a psychologist.

From this point of view, it is worth solving your problems on your own only if psychology is your hobby or future professional path … or if you live in austerity, when it’s easier to figure it out yourself than to make money on a good psychologist.

Do not think that this is such an advertisement for paid psychological services. It's only about soberly assessing your resources and capabilities. Without understanding the issue and mindlessly loading yourself in the gym, you can easily cripple yourself. So it is with psychology - a superficial distorted understanding of one's mental structure, even with the best intentions, does not lead to solving problems, but to their aggravation.

You can figure out all this on your own, but you need to understand that this will require a lot of effort, time and patience, and the first serious results of such independent work will not appear immediately. Superficial effects are easy to achieve, but major internal transformation will take years of hard work.

Therefore, if from psychology you just need to solve some current problems or maintain a general conscious and balanced state, there is no point in getting involved in an adventure of independent psychological work. It will be much more effective and faster to work with a psychologist.

And only if psychology is interesting for you by itself, regardless of personal problems and troubles, then there really is a reason to start studying it by your own example and try to disperse your cockroaches on your own. But it will only work if you are fascinated by the process itself, and not just its result. If the process of poking around in yourself does not cause you healthy sports excitement and does not bring pleasure, time and effort will most likely be wasted.

In addition, there is another limiting factor. Not always obvious psychological problems are caused by obvious reasons. Sometimes superficial tensions and contradictions hide such powerful internal breakdowns that it will be almost impossible to cope with them without outside help. It is one thing for a healthy person who is faced with mental pain, and quite another for a person who is psychologically crippled, who has only pain. The first one can solve his problems on his own, the second - most likely not. Therefore, if there is the slightest suspicion about this, you should still consult with a psychologist before taking on serious independent work.

And one last caveat. Even if you want to figure everything out on your own and there is a readiness for all difficulties and obstacles, at the first stages it still makes sense to work with a psychologist - at least in order to set the initial vector of application of efforts. And then, in the process of work, it is worth checking your findings and results from time to time with someone who has already passed this path and knows all the ins and outs. And there is no need to stand here in a proud pose "I myself!" - there is no honor in this, and the probability of deceiving oneself in this matter is a couple of orders of magnitude higher than the chance of doing everything right.

How to understand yourself?

The main question that you need to answer to yourself in relation to any investigated problem is - "What is happening to me?" Not "why", not "why", not "because of what", but "what". The difference between these issues is fundamental. To the question "what?" you can answer accurately and specifically through direct observation of your condition, experiences and feelings. And in relation to all other issues, one can only think abstractly and the practical value of this lesson tends to zero - it brings only false comfort.

From the point of view of real psychological work, it is much more important to admit the fact of the presence of certain feelings than to indulge in reflections on their nature and origin. For example, discovering and responsibly acknowledging the lack of deep parental love for your child and the hidden shame about this is more important than trying to understand the reasons and deep meaning of these experiences.

The belief that understanding causes leads to change is deeply mistaken. First, because the real reasons cannot be traced reliably - you can only make seemingly reasonable assumptions. Second, because even the most compelling assumptions do not change anything in the present moment, and the same experiences continue to arise with the same intensity. The only difference is that now there is a convenient explanation for them, and this makes the soul a little calmer. But sooner or later you will have to pay even more for such "peace of mind".

Transformation (constructive change) in psychological work does not come from the fact that a beautiful theory is built in the head about why something is happening, but solely as a result of a clear awareness of what exactly is happening. Without evaluations and judgments - only one statement of facts. Nothing else is required - just to see in great detail what exactly is happening in a problem situation.

And that will be enough. But not so that shame miraculously disappeared, but love miraculously appeared, but in order for the situation to come out of the impasse and begin to unravel by itself to some next emotional knot, where again you will need to give yourself a clear and honest answer about what exactly is going on here. And so on - question by question, answer by answer. And no theories and explanations - just one statement of what exactly is going on inside.

This can be viewed as the work of a self-regulation mechanism that fails only because it receives inaccurate information about what is happening inside and outside. And as soon as he begins to supply him with adequate information about the actual situation, he immediately begins to correct and balance it in the most reasonable and constructive way (within the framework of the available possibilities, of course).

In other words, psychological work is a struggle against misunderstanding or false superficial understanding of what exactly is happening. Or, to put it more sharply, it is a struggle with one's self-deception and unwillingness to face the truth. And all that is required in order for the psyche to begin to restore its balance by itself is simply to stop lying to itself.

Everything is very simple here. Any mental pain is a consequence of this or that lie to oneself. There are no exceptions. If it hurts, then somewhere you are deceiving yourself, and there is no other reasonable way to get rid of this pain, except to bring yourself to clean water.

The trouble is that psychological work is misunderstood as a way to remake yourself to a desired standard. And in a situation with a child, the parent turns to psychology not in order to sort out the situation in the most constructive way for himself and his child, but in order to "correct" himself and in some magical way to awaken in himself warm feelings towards the child … People all the time try to become "better", to become somehow different, more correct, more appropriate, and the hope of achieving this deliberately false goal is placed on psychological work.

But psychology is not a way to change yourself - it is a way to learn to live with what you have and give yourself a chance to be yourself, despite any internal and social contradictions. And the result of a job well done is not the achievement of some far-fetched ideal, but the recognition of the right to exist, reconciliation with one's own individuality and the development of a life strategy that would allow living life in harmony with oneself and without confrontation with one's environment.

Just adaptation and survival - to oneself and the surrounding reality. The mistake lies in the fact that the outside world is perceived as something uncontrollable, and therefore it is not accepted to bend it under oneself, and in relation to the inner world it seems that it is pliable, like dough, and anything can be molded from it. But in practice this is not at all the case: both external and internal are equally objective given, which will inevitably have to be reckoned with.

There is no feat in the struggle with internal circumstances - they will win anyway. And the result of any psychological work is not victory, but defeat, and the sooner a person realizes that it is impossible to remake himself and in this battle he will always lose, the sooner he will direct his efforts to learn how to get along with himself, and the sooner he will life will become bearable and … truly individual. Until then, this is the life of a zebra, which walks in the mud every day to become more like a horse.

Thus, psychological work - independent or with a psychologist - is a long and painful process of recognizing oneself in the very places and areas where one does not want to have anything to do with oneself. This idea needs to be grasped and digested. The same simple question over and over again - "What exactly is happening to me here?" Not with other people, not with circumstances, but only with me. You will begin to honestly and responsibly answer this question to yourself every time you face a psychological problem, and one day you will see that you no longer have any problems.