2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We meet each other, we have strong feelings, we have hopes and dreams. And then suddenly we part. Sometimes with the thought "What was it and why?" Sometimes with gratitude, sometimes with resentment.
I would like to say a few words about what meetings are like and why.
Chemistry: falling in love, passion, etc
Sometimes "chemistry" happens. Draws to the person and that's it. What's this? Love? Fate?
Maybe yes maybe no. Unknown.
This is a good time to enjoy the senses and have fun. Even if “not destiny,” no one will take away the experienced joy and pleasure, if we ourselves do not devalue them.
It is also a good time to get to know each other. To take a closer look and understand whether love and long-term relationships will come out of this.
If a couple has enough coincidences and partners learn to build relationships with each other, then love can grow out of chemistry.
If it didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that it was all in vain and time wasted. Through relationships we develop, gain experience, learn something new about ourselves. It is important to keep a good memory and gratitude for the wonderful period of "chemistry".
Meetings for transformation
There is a “chemical” attraction, and there is a “psychic” attraction. It also feels like an indomitable craving for a person.
At an unconscious level, we are attracted to people who help us to develop, through relationships with whom we go to healing, to wholeness.
These meetings can be short or last several years. In them, we can feel happy, but we can, on the contrary, experience pain. One way or another, we are learning something.
As a rule, if you look closely, it is immediately clear that we do not coincide for “they lived happily ever after,” but it is difficult to break away from a person. And it is not necessary. Once our psyche is done working in this relationship, the relationship will end.
Codependency and other ailments
These adventures, too, often begin with the feeling of “I can't love”. But, as a rule, they have vivid experiences - acute and painful.
If in other types of relationships we develop, then in these relationships we are more destroyed than anything else. Getting out of them can be difficult. And sometimes when we leave, we find ourselves in a state of complete exhaustion.
In this case, the attraction occurs because our mental trauma is triggered. And we are drawn into a relationship that will confirm the painful feelings hidden in our trauma. If in the depths of the psyche there is a feeling of our worthlessness or a feeling of endless loneliness, then we will find ourselves in a relationship that will confirm the thought “I am worthless, I do not deserve love”.
This type of relationship will be discussed in the chapter “What we confuse love with”.
Love
Love is something that we create ourselves. Relationships can start with love, passion, or they can start with friendship.
If we have enough coincidences and learn to build relationships, then friendly or passionate feelings can turn into long-term relationships in which people feel deep affection for each other, emotional closeness. Relationships that are filled with warmth and support that help both grow, but at the same time feel comfortable, realize their goals in the world and at the same time have a reliable rear - a cozy world of relationships in which they will always understand and support.
The chapter "This Love" will be about building such relationships.
I do not touch on the topic of spiritual love, the topic of “love as a muse”, etc., here designating only the main types of relationships, when two people experience this or that attraction to each other and build relationships.
Book " What do we confuse love with, or is Love"available on Liters and MyBook. You might also be interested in the book" Codependency in its own juice".
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