How Not To Lose Yourself

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

As I say lately: you cannot find yourself if you have not lost. But to lose, as you probably know, is absolutely real. This is facilitated by the environment, limiting beliefs, socially imposed habits and patterns.

Like a husk, all this is layered over the years and at some point you realize that you are confused, but did you choose the right path in life, is the person next to you, whether you have delved into the right profession. Such decadent thoughts visit when “something is wrong”: a career is not a career, and a family is “like everyone else, that’s at least not worse” and there are a lot of reasons why, at a certain middle age, it will cover it like that. And then: divorce, downshifting and other throwing - from fast foods to gyms, from there to self-development courses and where else it will bring. And all why?

It's not that we rarely see ourselves from the outside, we generally know little about ourselves. It is a delusion that we can describe ourselves and our character truthfully. Hence - not understanding how we will behave in this or that situation - when the reflex has already worked, and the mind has not yet turned on. Hit - run - freeze an example. Sound familiar? But that's not the point either.

I have worked long enough in the field of personnel management to identify a simple and useful thing: an outside perspective is necessary in order to know who you are. This is about the strengths and weaknesses of character, and about the type of thinking in stressful situations, and the difference between seizing and holding positions and finding other solutions. We try to understand others, but what if we haven't studied ourselves?

The moment I realized that my ability to acquaint people with themselves is much wider than the sphere where I am limited by the office, life acquired a far-reaching perspective. This is what I want to do. Helping others is like a part of me. But you can do this, burn out without a trace and feel like a battery, or you can bring real benefit, see the result, encourage, open your eyes and show life in a light that you would not have thought of before. And to be charged from this, like a battery, because - the result!

For this reason, a year ago, my project on profiling started: the ability to describe a person by his character traits, predict behavior, teach him to look wider, see deeper, while relying on a set of psychological methods that allow you to say: yes, I can verify a lie; yes, I can describe the character of a person and compose his psychological portrait. In other words, I can help solve your request without bringing it to the point of a problem.

-Hi, I don’t know what to do … the employee will quit, but there is no time to look for a person in her place. You can't find an accountant that quickly.

-Tell me how she is.

- Yes, what a.. vertikhvostka, in a word, she dances, then nightclubs, and in the morning she cannot open her eyes. And close your mouth. Yes, there is even a photo of her, from a corporate party.

-Well, give a photo, then.

And in the photo … a typical extrovert, and also of a certain type, who is an accountant? Never! I will not burden with physiognomic descriptions, but the place for such a person is to be a cover, a presentation, speak in public, represent a company, go to meetings and sell. But there is no way to sit still, with numbers, papers. And why? So my mom is an accountant … well, I went.

Now she is a PR manager and everything is fine with them: both this girl and my friend. And they found the accountant they needed: an introvert who knows how to see little things, with such good analytics, aimed at the result in one, in advance and carefully thought out, sphere.

In fact, there are only two methods, and even without careful analysis and profiling. Wonders? No, experience and science.