Hold On

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Initially, the title of the future article came to me in the form of the word "kickback", but the first association with this word, which has already firmly taken root in the Russian language, has little to do with esotericism, the creation of the desired reality and other coaching things. The second association, well known to motorists, especially in snowy winters, is much more suitable, and it would be more correct to call it "rollback". What I want to talk about is a "rollback", but not a car on a hill, but our emotional states.

Most books that describe the process of creating a reality that is different from your current one generally agree on three main steps in this process. You need to understand what you want, to articulate it; understand what is stopping you, work with it and free yourself from it; start "radiating", that is, spending the maximum amount of time of the day feeling that you already have what you want, and it is this "radiation" that will attract what you want to you. The scheme is simple and working, although it requires honesty (with oneself), perseverance and self-discipline, but, as usual, there is one "but" that is faced by everyone who really started the creation process and did not "move out" after a couple of days, weeks or good Friday libations. This "but" is the very same rollback in states, or, to put it even simpler, a bad mood that sometimes comes for no apparent reason and can cross out everything that you have already created. Some esotericists call these rollbacks "critical situations", and working with them is a very important part of the process of creating a new reality.

There is so much information about the creation of a new reality in our time that there are almost no people left who have not heard anything about vibrations, the quantum leap, the movie "The Secret" and other esoteric tricks, while there are few people who actually create their own reality. Many people talk about what they “read”, “study”, “think about it”, and in general they would like to take the opportunity to change their lives by changing their thoughts, but always something gets in the way, something distracts, something seems to be more important.

- How long does it take to create a new reality? - they ask, hoping to hear the option: "A couple of weeks, no more."

When I asked the exact same question at the very beginning of my coaching path, my guru was a little deceitful, saying that it would take me about three months, approximately. Three months later, we found out that we need at least three more, and even better - six, and even better - a year. Or two. But here you need to determine what exactly is your ultimate goal, what exactly you would like to solve with the help of coaching techniques, because it is quite possible to work out some requests in a month or two, and if you do not want to go further, then you don’t need to. I started by changing the level of income, then I moved on to creating relationships, then to changing my lifestyle, and then I completely left to live in another country, and each stage of creating a new one always requires a revision of internal attitudes, the adoption of something that was previously perceived in bayonets, and in general looks like "put things in order in their thoughts, feelings and attitudes."

The process of internal change is never measured in hours or days, it is measured by insights, so-called "insights". Something like: "So, why do I react exactly to someone's words / feel this way / make such decisions / choose such men (women) / do not dare to change jobs / and the like." And insights, again, do not come by themselves, they come when you start the process of change, when you start doing tasks that coaches and trainers give you, you start to think and analyze your thoughts and feelings, in general you stop living "on autopilot" as esotericists say, “wake up”. The most frequent question that you start to ask yourself sounds like: "How do you want?"With any attempt to change, especially internal ones, the brain takes a defensive position faster than you can realize it, I wrote about this in previous articles, for any of your "wishes" the brain will instantly find 25 reasons why this is impossible, completely impossible and cannot be never, because the brain thinks so. The process of creating a new one always looks like you need to wade through a thicket of forest, thick and terrible, and this forest is your beliefs and beliefs.

In sports terms, creating something new is a marathon, not a sprint. Yes, you can run very quickly and run to the next fence, and then recover your breathing for five minutes, and this is how the get-rich-quick process looks like, for example. If I want to triple my income with the help of mental exercises and devote all my energy to this, I will achieve this, it has been tested in practice, but when this goal is achieved, it becomes clear that in fact I do not want to "grab the money once", but to get out on a stable high income, and this is a completely different story. In order to achieve something more or less stable, I need to change my inner norm. If now, for example, your income is 50,000 rubles (substitute your number, neither the amount, nor the currency is important), and you want 150,000, and you never had these 150,000 before, then all your internal attitudes will resist, no matter how wild it sounds. They - internal attitudes - do not know how to live, if you have a different income, they need to adapt to this, this should become the norm for them (and for you, of course). If something happened, and you need to learn to live on 25,000 instead of 50,000, you’ll figure out how, find a way to save money, somehow get out, right? Likewise, you need to understand how you will live if you have three times as much money.

Almost everyone with whom we discussed this topic instantly dismisses the question: "How exactly will your life change if you have the income that you declare as desired?" The most common answer is: “Let me first have that income, and then I will decide what to do with it,” and this is the wrong answer. Until you see yourself in the picture “I have a stable income of 150,000 rubles a month, this is the norm for me”, no super income will just fall on your head. Like the classics, "money in the morning - chairs in the evening", you need to feel comfortable in a new financial image. I can give the exact same example for girls who want to get married. When I ask to describe - in as much detail as possible - exactly how their life will change after "marriage", what they will do on weekdays, what - on weekends, what their feelings are from the thought "I am married", what is the emotional difference in general - no one knows. “Well, I wasn’t there, in this“married”, how can I know?”. And then the question immediately arises, about which I wrote above, "How do you want?".

- I want him to fully support me financially, carry me in his arms, blow off dust particles and fulfill any whims on demand! And I drove to the sea 15 times a year!

- Excellent, the idea is formulated, now you need to describe the sensations. How do you feel when you have such a husband?

Silence. Do not know. There is no “norm”, it’s something that needs to be created, invented, described, felt and “anchored”.

I am talking about the norm strictly in order to show where the state rollbacks come from. Example: Masha wants 150,000, imagines it, anticipates, thinks about what she will spend or how much she will postpone, but since her norm is 50,000, then as soon as she encounters a reality in which she does not have 150,000 (yet no), Masha has an unpleasant feeling of inadequacy. In dreams he already drives Tesla, but in reality he drives Niva (again, substitute your example), and the brain is happy to screw Masha into thinking that how many times you don't say the word halva, your mouth will not become sweeter. A textbook example in this situation is a flower. In order for it to grow, you need to plant a seed, water the ground and wait. Neither the flower nor the desired income of 150,000 will grow in one night, or even two. But if you have planted and watered, you can be sure that it will grow, and there can only be one reason why this will not happen (except for a defective seed, of course) - if you dig up the ground in a couple of weeks and throw out the seed. We decided not to grow a flower, you don’t need it, you planted it not for yourself, but for your beloved, and he just abandoned you during these two weeks. By the way, you can immediately say about one of the most important rules of coaching: the desire that you want to realize should be your personal, important to you personally. Neither mom, nor dad, nor boyfriend, nor dog. If you personally don't need it, you don't even need to start. Any process of work to achieve goals begins with finding out the "truth" of the goal itself, since not all goals that are declared as important are really important for what is declared.

Let's get back to rollbacks. As esotericists say, you do not “create” reality out of nothing, you “choose” which one to be on. Imagine a stave. When you start creating something new, you are on the bottom line, and you want to be on the next, and maybe on the highest. The esoteric theory says that all the lines exist simultaneously, nothing disappears anywhere, everything that you want or dream about already exists and even that other “you” exists, which lives exactly the way the real “you” only dreams. Your task is to reach (vibrational, thoughts and emotions) to another ruler, and at the very beginning you seem to "jump" and try to get a new ruler. But as long as you do not correspond to this new ruler, you will not reach it, and the force of gravity will return you to the earth, that is, to the ruler on which you are now. This is our "kickback": yesterday you were happily rubbing your hands at the thought of how great it would be to have 150,000 a month, but this morning something went wrong, and you are in a different mood, not on the vibration that corresponds to these 150 000 per month. There may be hundreds of reasons why you are in the wrong mood today, you can understand and search for them, but this does not change anything. The question here is classic: "What to do?"

At the very beginning of coaching work with a client, I always say that it is very desirable to prescribe everything that you want to create (goals, desires, future image), write down those emotions and feelings that arise in the process of work (especially negative ones, since they show where the resistance comes from), as well as plan in advance in case of an emotional rollback. Your task is not to "jump" to the goal, but to create a new norm, that is, to gradually replace those images, thought forms and states that create your current reality with those that correspond to the new. If you create an image of a happy marriage, you are not spending time on dating sites; if you create an image of financial abundance, you do not calculate how many rubles you have left before your paycheck and do not buy expired milk, because it is cheaper; if you create an image of yourself as a successful entrepreneur, you are not sending out batches of resumes to everyone in a row. Every day you track your emotions and thoughts and evaluate whether they lead you to a new image or not, and if not, then you change both thoughts and emotions. State rollbacks are inevitable until the new reality becomes the norm for you, but they do not mean at all that you are "going in the wrong direction", or "you don't want what you want," or "you want too much."

You can write an approximate algorithm for dealing with critical situations (rollbacks). The most important and very first thing is to realize that a critical situation has arrived. Suppose you are working to increase income (or income, as some coaches say, because the word "income" is most often associated with some kind of work, and "income" can be anything: a gift, winning the lottery, money found on street) and you have unforeseen expenses. What's the first thought that comes to mind? From the experience of sessions with clients, I will say that panic comes first. “If I create income, but I get a loss, then I am doing something wrong? Maybe it is the Universe that shows me that high income is not for me and it is not worth trying? " Panic can be mixed with distrust of coaching techniques ("This is all because of your esotericism! This has never happened before!"), Disappointment in the very idea of creating a new one, and so on. Here it is important to stop the mental dialogues and understand that "here it comes", a critical situation. Ideally, it is very desirable to listen to yourself and understand what basic emotions have come to you, or even better - to write them out, it will be very useful for self-awareness and a better understanding of the processes that are going on inside you. If you are too lazy to write down, or uncomfortable, or have no time, then at least take a couple of minutes to breathe deeply and, if possible, calm your thoughts and emotions. While you are "captured" by the emotional state, you do not see reality, it is distorted. Remember how beautifully the trees are reflected in the smooth surface of the calm lake water, and how the image changes if a stone is thrown into the water. Any meditation technique tells you: "Calm your mind while it is restless, you cannot see the real state of things." It is very important not to try to "create" while the mind is agitated, for you will not "do" what you want.

When you realized that the whole situation was given to you as a test, and breathed - calmed down, ask yourself the question: "And if I had what I want, how would I react to what is happening?" If you already have an income of 150,000, and unforeseen expenses are, for example, 10,000? Will you react in the same way as with your current income of 50,000? I think no. Again, ideally, it would be nice to write down the emotions that would arise in you with an income of 150,000 and a loss of 10,000 and compare with emotions in a situation of 50,000 / 10,000, then you will see the work of your internal attitudes even better. For the correct passage of a critical situation (and "correct" means that it will not arise again) you need to emotionally react from the "image of a new self". Break the template - the brain is sure that you will panic, and you yourself said something like: "Oh, you think 10,000 !!" In one of Zeland's books, it is described how a girl, in response to the fact that her boyfriend left her, started dancing, clapping her hands and jumping for joy. Learn to rejoice in failures, and they will no longer come to you, because they can no longer feed on your energy. Think in advance what thoughts will lead you back to calmness if a "critical situation" arises and write them down so that if something happens, there is somewhere to "spy".

Inside us there is always our personal critic and skeptic, the one who does not want to change anything, does not want to create anything, but only wants to sit and whine or scold or instill in us the thought "You are not good enough." When we start to create something that we ourselves want, this critic goes completely into a rage and begins to insert sticks into the wheels with triple power, and we need to remember this. I remember how we discussed with the client the situation when she began to create a relationship, and the brain with persistent persistence repeated the question: “Well, where is your ideal husband? Why is he still not there?"

“Tell your brain that your husband is on a business trip,” I suggested. - He is, but while away, he will arrive soon.

A couple of weeks later, she told me that after a couple of hundred repetitions of this thought, the brain "gave up" and fell behind, and a few weeks later, a man really appeared, whom she later married.

A person is a complex creature, and society around us is complex, and life is devoid of instructions, or maybe not, but we definitely do not have this instruction, we were not given it, but this does not mean that we cannot create for ourselves what want. Moreover, if you embark on the path of creating what you want, along with the resistance of everything and everyone, you also receive help and support, from other people, from books, from articles, from the world, and it is important to be open to this, not to bury yourself in negative reasoning about the fact that "everything is bad and I will not succeed." If you need help, and you ask for it, it will come in the most unexpected way, but you yourself will support yourself. Praise and say that you are great and you will succeed.

Joyful creations and positive vibrations to you, Yours, #anyafincham