2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Author: Mark Ifraimov Source:
"Until the age of twelve, the girl is under the father's wing, and the boy is under the mother's wing." This phrase from the arsenal of counselors, which has already become an axiom, can help predict the future of a child.
Fortunately or unfortunately, man is an absolutely programmable creature. For the first 7 years, not even 12, each of us is unconsciously programmed, and then all his life he consciously tries to reprogram. Not everyone succeeds. Especially when you don't know what is worth changing in the first place.
In this article, I invite you to see the scenario of the development of the fate of your daughter, or (if you are a woman) to check my information with the main milestones of your own life. And, perhaps, challenge my thinking.
Prelude
In the life of a child, everything depends on the mother, who is a god for her child, but the irony of fate is that the girl is the future mother herself, up to the age of twelve she looks at her father and waits for his boundless love
The whole picture of her fate depends on how the girl looks at her father in the depths of her soul, on whether she can receive his love.
Namely: will she be divorced, will she live in prosperity, will she have to work hard, will she live to old age surrounded by her loved ones, will she be left alone, will she get a caring husband or the one from whom she will dream of running away.
All relationships with men, absolutely everything, depend on how we look at dad. OR ONE WHO STANDS IN THIS PLACE.
This rule applies to both women and men. All of us, both men and women, from childhood use the same communication strategy, which later we simply project onto everyone who comes across to us in everyday life.
Simply put, if we are offended by dad, we will be offended by all men. Likewise, if we are offended by our mother, as we grow up, we will look in women for a reason to be offended and break off relations.
We project our feelings from those who were in our childhood onto those who are in our environment now. Unfortunately, most people in the world do not realize that they see other people through the prism of their childhood feelings and decisions. And, I apologize for the pun, these distortions distort the relationship so much that you want to break out of them and run away.
This is the first thing we need to know in order to be able to foresee destiny. Secondly, it is important to understand what her father means to a girl.
A girl under 12 is emotionally very strongly connected with her dad. She expects more attention and love from him than from her mother. Dad is a source of peace for her, just like a greenhouse for a delicate and fragile flower.
Look at the picture. I have chosen this frame from the movie “Cinderella” as an illustration for the article. Behind our girl's back: King, Scientist and Father. With such an entourage, she is calm, and looks affably at the Prince - her chosen one.
The King, the Scientist and the Father are the three hypostases of the father, giving the girl inner peace.
The king is the father who controls the space where the girl lives. The king influences everyone and ensures stability with his power. A king is a worthy, very worthy person in society. His status allows the girl to feel proud, full of self-respect, dignity and importance.
A scientist is a father who is constantly evolving and capable of learning about the world. Like every woman, the girl considers herself not just the world, but also the Universe, and it is important for her that there is a man next to her, not only constantly exploring her inner world, but also helping her to understand herself. The learned father allows the girl to change all the time and, discovering new facets in herself, to be always interesting in the eyes of men.
The third hypostasis is a caring and loving dad - the one who will always support and caress. He will shake on his knees, tell a fairy tale and give the sweetest feeling in the world that you can always remain small without worrying about anything.
Being sure that you will be taken care of, feeling worthy of attention, respect and all the time allowing yourself to be different is what a father gives a girl. Ideally.
And now, armed with this knowledge, let's return to how the whole fate of the girl is still connected with her relationship to her dad. How to learn to see the future based on the past?
The algorithm will be straightforward. To determine the girl's fate, we need to find out how her mother sees the girl's father. After all, it depends on the mother's decision whether the girl can love her dad on her own, or whether she can look at her dad with her mother's eyes until she reaches maturity. Figuratively speaking, the girl's mother always holds her hand on the valve of the pipeline of her daughter's love for her dad. It is up to the mother to block the love for the father or not.
Having interviewed the girl's mother, we will have very few options for her daughter's future. I will make a reservation right away that in all scenarios we proceed from the true feelings of the mother and daughter, and not those expressions that we usually hear from people who want to look good in the eyes of others.
One of the tasks of the constellator is to show the person his real feelings, which he carefully hides from himself.
Variants
Option One: Mom truly loves the girl's dad. Mom considers her husband a worthy man - the King. The girl thinks so too. To the stupid question of adults: "Who do you love more - mom or dad?" - answers: "I love both!"
Scenario of her future: The girl will be very attractive to men. The Queen will be seen in it. They will want to take care of her, provide. She will be respected. Great future!
Option Two: Mom considers herself unworthy of the girl's dad. He is the King, and the girl's mother is Simpleton. The girl worships her dad and dreams that she would get a “husband like dad”.
Scenario of her future: Deep down, the girl hides from herself that she is unhappy with her mother. She thinks, "I would be a better wife for dad." The girl will repeat the path of her mother - she will become the same Simpleton. At the same time, in order to hide her essence, she will try to look very important, as if she is the Queen. The husband will choose one to be dissatisfied with his behavior. After 7-10 years after living together, he will strive to divorce him. If she is not aware of her childhood decisions, the girl will get sick, and more and more over the years.
Option Three: Mom considers the girl's dad to be hopeless, lazy, or just an ordinary citizen, not enough stars from the sky. In other words, he considers himself better than him.
Scenario of her future: The girl wants or does not want, and mother's programming will have an impact on her too. The girl will be a Simpleton. Men will see in her the one who can neither inspire nor keep. She will be disappointed in men and will believe that her mother was right. She will have to work herself to support her family and she will be unhappy with her life. The future is in gray colors!
Option Four: Mom is openly unhappy with the girl's dad. The girl protects her mother from her father.
Scenario of her future: The girl will look for a husband who is unlike her father. In the end, she will choose the one who will poison her life. The girl will become a courageous woman and will consider men to be a mistake of nature. She herself will perform all male and female work and will acquire masculine features. The girl will argue that her life is beautiful, but the heaviness on her soul will weigh on everyone. Life will end alone.
Option Five: Mom is openly unhappy with the girl's dad. The girl protects her dad from her mom.
Scenario of her future: As an adult, the girl will become the mistress of a married man. With women will be in opposition. With his beloved's wife too. She will believe in magic, go to folk specialists in the hope that they will help her to get married. Children, or rather, one child she will have. Mom will love and pity. The child will not leave his mother, because he will replace her dad. Even if the child is a girl. The future is sad and rather lonely.
That's all for the main scenarios. Not a lot, right?
The bitter truth is that only in the first option, with the permission from the mother to love her father, the daughter will become a happy woman.
The bitter truth is that women pretend in public, that they allow their daughters to love their fathers, but in fact they inspire their girls with their dissatisfaction: “Be unhappy like me! I am unhappy and you should be like that!”
The experience of thousands of constellators confirms this sad tendency for women to continue suffering from generation to generation.
Solution
When a woman divorces, she strives to return to her father's house in search of that happiness that she could not receive as a girl
Happy girls become happy women. They are not abandoned by their husbands and they do not go into happy loneliness. Happiness of a woman TOGETHER with a man.
It is impossible to become happy if happiness is lost in childhood, in the parental family. The girl gives up her happiness, looking at her mother, who also lost her happiness in her childhood. But she thinks that it was the man who robbed her of her happiness.
Happiness is not in men. Happiness is a feeling that is within you. Therefore, your happiness cannot live in another person. As much as I would not like to shift the responsibility for my happiness onto someone else, but this does not help to feel better.
You want your kids to be happy, of course. And very often you think that if you give up your happiness, the child will have more of it. This is so naive and childishly stupid!
Your children will be happy only if you yourself are illuminated with happiness. Because you can give to others (children, husband, loved ones) only what you yourself have. Therefore, your main responsibility is to be happy yourself.
Dear women, if the happiness of your daughters is important to you, with all your appearance, with all your feelings, with your whole body, become happier yourself. Looking at you, daughters will also allow themselves happiness.
Children follow their parents' example. When parents have love, children also have love.
Of course, the girl's father also bears a lot of responsibility for the scenario of the daughter's life and no one can remove this responsibility from him. It's just that no matter what father is - good or bad - the girl's mother forms in her child an attitude towards men.
The little girl is just a vessel into which the parents pour their relationship experiences. And for the happiness of her child, a mother must take care of what kind of experience she pours - bitter or pleasant to the taste. To do this, the mother should not reproach the man she chose for herself, but look at her parents and, finally, DO THE MOST IMPORTANT:
REMOVE ALL CLAIMS FROM YOUR MOTHER AND DAD.
Only in this case, a new era will begin in her family - an era of stable happiness, mutual respect and long-lived love. And it will be easy for my daughter to support and pass on this tradition!
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