Study. Hold Me Tight, Let Me Go

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

A good enough mom and a fairly distant mom form the perfect tandem for the happy development of the child. A happy child is a happy adult.

A good enough mom is always there, she remembers about you, and she knows what you need. From the very first day, she, like your guardian angel, protects you from any misfortune in this world, which you will then discover for yourself in your own way. This mother is able to take you into her arms and warm you with her warmth, she understands you even when the only thing you can do is just look at her with your big and beautiful eyes. A good enough mother translates your language of archaic and incomprehensible symbols of the soul into an understandable and accessible language of speech and gestures, gives it all to you, and you use it. You use the maternal thinking apparatus and accept its reworked symbols as your own. You to her, she to you back. This is how the assimilation of the world takes place in the form in which it appears for you in the form of a mother. As she introduces him, so he will be for you. You absorb a part of it into yourself, its tool of thinking, given to you for the time being, generates new parts in you for further growth. Your ego also consists of a fairly good mother, who in this form will always be your part, your anima. A good enough mother is the person who is able to get out of postpartum psychosis and not fall into postpartum depression, and thus not repeat these first two stages of the baby's development. This mother cannot be carried away with her in a tenacious merger, she will be a reliable stronghold of a healthy world in your soul.

A sufficiently distant mother is always there, she is always near you, she is already approaching you, she creates this free space between you and her to fill it with good enough transitional objects. This mother fills you with hope that will always come true, and at the same time she gives you enough fear for you, frustration, which will gradually temper you and create space in your soul for creativity. Approaching you at your call, each time longer and longer, this mother gives you your space, your strong creative side, your independence of which you will use later. A fairly distant mother is your loyal friend and companion, who will survive with you all your pains and sorrows, and will do it so that at each new occasion you will be strong and brave, or just know that you will definitely endure all this and then calmly move on … This mother worries about you, loves you, appreciates you, and she is at a sufficient distance from you so that you can calmly spread your wings and flutter out of the nest without obstacles.

Both that and that mother, of course, can be the same person, and it is great happiness that your mother was just that. And it's okay if your mom wasn't like that. In any case, it was, is and will be. Part of her is always in you. And whether you accept this part of it or continue to argue with it depends on how cool you will spend this and the next day.