Aggressive Child Or How Can Parents Stay Alive?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The problem of childish aggressiveness is now burning. The modern children's world is overflowing with violence - video games, cartoons, movies, toys. And all that remains for parents to grab their heads and endlessly blame themselves.

Many parents are disappointed that their parenting is not what they imagined, that children are not a source of joy at all, but continuous problems. But to whom to come with such "wrong" thoughts? Who will understand or support? As a result, parents are left alone with their difficult experiences. The fear of condemnation and censure turns out to be stronger than the desire to ask for help.

The fact is that an aggressive child cannot be broken; aggressiveness is part of his personality. And it is with this part of the personality, and not with the whole child at once, for the parent and it is important to rebuild contact. But it is her, this part of the personality in the child, that many fear and reject.

Whims, tantrums, anger, complaints from educators or teachers, you must agree, this does not dispose to a sincere conversation with a child about "correct behavior" in society. But such a conversation is not necessary for the time being. The parent falls into shame and guilt, and this is the biggest mistake. Because there is no parental fault that your child is like that and there is nothing to be ashamed of, that he does not fit into the patterns of society.

There are always people in society who break old stereotypes and create new rules, move humanity forward and in this they are helped by personal anger, friendship with their aggressive part of the personality. It no longer destroys a person, but gives him strength. Is your child one of these people?

Then it is important for parents to begin acquaintance with the aggressive part of their child's personality. Because while parents are ashamed and a lot of guilt, while they suffer and worry why he is not like everyone else (and he simply cannot be like everyone else), parents involuntarily reject their child the way nature made him.

Why are many parents ashamed of the actions of their children (and really what are they proud of - hit, broke, rude?) Because they themselves have something that they reject in themselves - they once wanted to protect themselves, but kept silent. Once they wanted to defend their interests, but gave in. Once my mother said that she would never love an angry child - and suppressed her anger forever. We stopped ourselves in what the child is still in motion. And this is what becomes unbearable for adults. Sometimes children allow themselves what we adults have forbidden ourselves for a long time. The fear of being rejected by society is too oppressive and forbidden, and the child again and again, with his non-standard behavior, brings the parent back to this fear. To look, recognize and take something new from him - thoughts or feelings that will help to move on.

What am I doing?

When parents begin to get acquainted with the aggressive part of their child's personality, many wonderful discoveries about themselves and their lives await them. And so it turns out that by establishing relationships with their beloved child, parents unwittingly establish relationships with themselves and their lives. Knowledge that leads to change.