Stay Alive

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

At the heart of the article is a very simple story:

- met, - fell in love, - hoped

- made solar plans for the future, - in rainbow dreams I drew something unearthly and necessarily happy …

And then, suddenly, everything changed somehow, it went wrong, the sun was covered by clouds, the rainbow melted, turning into teardrops of rain.

And in principle, it doesn't matter for what reason it happened. Maybe they didn't agree on characters or love left, or it didn't happen at all. But here is a place where many people have a soul, and it hurts. It hurts and does not let go for a moment. And only one thought worries: how to make it so that it becomes at least a little easier, so that you have enough strength to just breathe, just live?

Time cures. Perhaps you don't need to do anything. someday Doctor Time will heal his wounds. In the meantime, you just have to lie, buried in your pillow, remembering, feeling sorry for yourself and cursing that day and hour when all this happened in your life.

Or, having collected the fragments of a broken heart into a fist, you can take at least one step towards your own peace of mind. No, not happiness and not joy, but to a new life, with the experience of loss, unfulfilled dreams and unfulfilled love. Probably, after all - love. Not in spite of and not in spite, but for yourself, for the sake of your future!

The first step is the most difficult: to understand and accept that it happened, and it doesn't matter who is right or who is wrong. It is in your life!

The second step is the most time-consuming and energy-consuming: working with negative emotions and mood. Not a day without movement!

The third step is the most desirable: consolidating the result.

So. The beginning of survival. Just write yourself a cheat sheet: The past cannot be returned … It remains in our memories for life. Something is erased from memory, something goes away, but the most vivid impressions last for many years. But now my present and future are more important to me. Therefore I leaving the past in the past and I don’t think about him yet. I am building my new future and just going into it.

The next moment on the road to survival is organizing your life today. Now, when that which filled, if not every day, then many days has gone, it is necessary to find new filling for this time. This moment is the most responsible and should not be left to chance. You have to sit down and draw up a plan of action right on a piece of paper. The sheet can / should be decorated with drawings, cut out pictures or bright stickers. Something like a working project for the next week, month, six months of life. That is, a detailed plan of where to go, what to do, with goals and objectives for each day. For each completed task - a reward. Something the most beloved and desired)) Particular attention should be paid to the item "good deeds and deeds." This may include activities such as feeding a stray kitten, helping grandmother cross the street, sponsoring someone and, for example, teaching him how to grow blooming cacti, volunteering at an animal shelter, or simply getting a dog. Caring for others takes a lot of mental and physical strength and there is no time to exaggerate your own experiences!

Physical activity relieves sleep problems, so a visit to a dance studio, gym, pool or self-defense section is also welcome!

Reading or listening to audiobooks is a great way to fill your thoughts with the experiences of book characters, and not five hundred scrolling through your own memories. You can ask your friends what books have affected their thoughts. Just one thing: it shouldn't be melodramas, love stories and psychological thrillers. A lighter, more neutral literature is desirable, for example, N. Leikin "Ours Abroad", T. Pratchett "Guards, guards", stories by M. Zoshchenko, or something from his favorite authors.

Finally, you can carve out time for your favorite activity, if it once was and all the time for objective reasons was postponed until tomorrow. Master classes, trial lessons, photography … In a word, you need to add some new occupation, unusual and interesting, to your usual life. Even when financial resources are limited, there are many free or budget ways to diversify your life.

One more note. At this stage, you need to limit your communication with people who have similar problems. Why? You will infect each other with your negative experiences, which is not at all suitable for building a coherent survival system. This does not mean that you need to avoid and hide from such acquaintances, just honestly tell them that either you are laughing together and not crying, or you are temporarily not communicating.

Such a sober and pedantic approach to organizing your life will help you quickly switch from the past to the present, and in the future to the future, where there will certainly be many new and interesting events.

And the last stage. Accept that the past cannot be returned. To understand that memories will break through for some time and there is no need to fight them. Fighting with yourself is the most time consuming task. You need to teach yourself this technique: with every sad or negative memory, start telling anecdotes (even to yourself), for this you need to memorize them or just carry a collection with them so that funny stories are always at hand. For creative people, you can use the techniques available to them: make a sketch of a sunny landscape, sing a funny song, take pictures of fighting cats, etc. Psychologists have found that after five to seven such attempts, switching becomes a habit.

It is important to learn to control your breathing: to concentrate your attention on the process of inhaling and exhaling, how air passes into the lungs, straightens them, how the chest expands, and the shoulders straighten. The exhalation should be longer through the mouth. For example, inhaling through the nose for a count of 1-2-3-4, holding the breath and exhaling through the mouth for a count of 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8. Several such breathing movements, about five or six, and muscle tension goes away, and with it the brain, receiving the correct portion of oxygen, begins to give rise to more positive thoughts.

Usually, within six months, the condition returns to normal. If the low mood tone persists, sleep does not normalize and the depression continues, then most likely you cannot do without the help of a professional. In this case, the psychologist will provide a powerful support function that could not be found with friends and family. Although, if you make every effort, stop waiting for a miracle, and start making it for yourself with your own hands, then the world will once again sparkle with new colors and certainly will not disappoint. Calm down, you will be able to look at past relationships in a different way and better understand yourself and what kind of person should be around. The main thing is not to force events, return to life in small steps and not retreat from your crisis plan to please momentary desires!