2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Why do we often feel guilty?
WHAT IS THE FEELING OF GUILT?
This is aggression directed against oneself - self-flagellation, self-punishment.
This is a pattern of behavior that is laid down in our childhood. The rules are explained to us, what is good and what is bad. It is bad to shout, fight, fail to do the job, not complete the job, make a mistake, be sloppy, etc. To these accusations are added generalizing words that further suppress us, such as - everything, always, forever, never … When the accusations are repeated, the invisible happens penetration into the subconscious.
Often the manipulator is offended, which makes us feel even more guilty.
In order for the manipulation to have an effect, the manipulator must be a close person. Most often, manipulators are close people - relatives, children, friends, colleagues, people who are significant to us.
Feelings of guilt help guide us. The emotional state of a guilty person is unstable. He doubts 🤷♂, experiences discomfort, looks for an excuse for himself … This is what the manipulator uses.
Guilt always implies how much harm you have done to others and what consequences may occur in the future.
Guilt is a reaction to a violation of our own life principles and norms of behavior.
Where do the norms of behavior come from? Again, let's return to the child-parent relationship. Parents explain to the child what behavior is unacceptable, as it will harm the other person. For example: shouting, fighting, insulting, saying what you think …
Then there will be a school, other educational institutions, work and everywhere there will be norms of behavior, violations of which implies a sense of guilt. No one in this world and in his entire life can fail to violate at least one norm.
When they say you are “to blame”, they mean “you must / must”. If we agree, then the manipulator has achieved his goal and we feel guilty. This allows the “guilty” person to feel responsible for the emotional state of the other person.
When we violate these principles, we can feel a constriction in the solar plexus area, pain in the heart, trembling in our hands, we can catch our breath. If we are in a depressed state for a long period of time, then somatic diseases begin to develop.
In the next article, we'll talk about how to recognize feelings of guilt.
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