2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Often during therapy, people become aware that many of their relationships are toxic. And then the question arises for them - is it really necessary to stop communicating with these people? Indeed, sometimes people are connected by family ties, long-term friendship or working relationship.
In this case, it may be wise to rethink the relationship in terms of emotional distance.
If we draw an analogy with our housing, then we do not let everyone who comes to our bedroom. We do not invite someone home at all, we meet on neutral territory; others - we invite to the living room; there are those closest to whom we allow to enter the bedroom.
Emotionally, the same scheme works - you do not initiate outsiders into your personal affairs, so they do not hurt you, you communicate on neutral topics. And then you need to analyze - if, for example, telling your parents or friends about your affairs, in the hope of getting support, you receive accusations, criticism, devaluation of your experiences, envy, and hurt about it - that is, it makes sense to tell the person what you expect from him …
If after that nothing changes, then the most reasonable thing is to increase the distance, not to devote it to the details of your life, not to share your experiences.
Thus, over time, you will be able to build a comfortable distance for yourself with each person, and you will not let people into your world who are not able to be careful of your feelings.
Take care of yourself and your psychological comfort! ❤
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