2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Nobody gets to know me. All my girlfriends are approached by men, but never by me. Am I that ugly? What to do about it?
Nobody meets me
You wait, you wait for this prince, but he does not appear in any way. All eyes overlooked. I have already been to nightclubs, and at dance evenings, and on dating sites, and in the smoking room of the Lenin library. And He's still not there. Why?
Let's remember how things were in antiquity. The prince learned that a princess lived somewhere, mounted a white horse and raced to the neighboring castle. If he liked the princess and the princess liked him, then the matter was settled. And if they didn't like each other, then the prince jumps on.
What's going on today? Essentially the same thing. A man with the intention of starting a relationship looks around in search of his woman. The woman, fortunately, has not been sitting in the tower for a long time either, but is actively looking around. And so they met eyes, both ready for a relationship and their willing, talked - and it went. Why doesn't it always happen?
Reason number 1: I am sitting in a tall tower beautiful
Sometimes the princesses continue to sit in the castle, not noticing that it is the 21st century. You don't have to lock yourself in the room to do this. It is enough not to look around and walk the same paths: home - work - home.
As a result nobody knows that you are a princess … This information was not disseminated by the heralds on your birthday, which means that the function of informing the world that you are beautiful and free is your responsibility.
What to do? Explore what impression you make on the men around you. Is it clear from you that you are interested in a relationship, or your role is the Snow Queen?
Ask close friends and acquaintances about this, from male relatives. For a more unbiased opinion, find a therapy group exploring the relationship between a man and a woman, or simply seek the help of a psychologist.
Reason # 2: guess yourself
Sometimes the princess waits for the initiative from another and does not show it herself. "A man should take the initiative!" - the princess thinks and folds her hands on her knees.
The problem is that just as a woman needs a man's initiative, so a man needs a woman's approval. The man himself invites you to dance, but before inviting, he meets the lady's eyes, checks whether she will accept his offer. And only then does he take a step forward.
Immediately, without hesitation, only Lieutenant Rzhevsky invites (in bed, by the way, not on a date) - because, as we remember, nine will slap in the face, but one will agree.
What to do ? Explore what prevents you from smiling at a man you like, ask him for a pen, ask a question about the weather - and sometimes (for the brave) even offer to meet for a cup of coffee on a work issue.
Ask yourself. What childhood or teenage experience makes you slow down your impulse and your initiative? What advice from mothers and grandmothers led to the fact that you are afraid of “inactive” men who will sit on your neck from the first date if you accidentally wink at them first? Isn't it time to give up the ways to meet that don't work and never worked?
Reason # 3: how disgusting these princes of yours are
As we remember, the wedding did not go well if the princess hinted to the prince that she did not like him. And this is another obstacle - sometimes to women I don't really like men in principle … Almost all. There are exceptions (which you are interested in), but in general, nothing good can be expected from them. Some womanizers and mama's little sons.
Men describe it this way: “He looks at me and as if immediately assesses whether I am fit to be a husband or not. Not a woman, but a terminator. I don't want to communicate at all."
What to do? If This is your story, then most likely there are reasons for it. It's not just that we stop believing in men - not because we were born angry and judgmental. As a rule, this is preceded by years of sad experience. But if you want a relationship (and they do not add up), then the inability to open up and trust a man is a topic for individual psychological counseling.
What to read
Elizabeth Gilbert, "Eat, Pray, Love" (on love after divorce)
What to watch
"Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona" (about two different princesses and Barcelona)
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