Jealousy. Good Or Bad

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

What do we know about jealousy? What do we think of her? How do we treat her? Is it okay to be jealous? Jealousy is after all the fear of losing an object that is significant and with which feelings are associated: love, significance, need and importance. Jealousy of both real rivals and fictional objects and non-existent threats. We can be jealous of anyone for anyone: husband (or wife) for friends, colleagues, casual acquaintances, favorite business, work, hobbies; friend to other friends; parents to a brother or sister; mother to father and father to mother.

Why does jealousy arise? Sometimes we consider another person our property and are not ready to share it with anyone or anything. We become so close with a loved one that we cannot allow the thought of losing him and react aggressively to any attempts to destroy this connection, or at least to attempts to shake it. Some people need jealousy to keep things going in a relationship. Without it, they become bored and lack the feelings that are necessary to maintain a comfortable level of happiness and contentment.

When and how does jealousy appear? As much as we would not like, but jealousy arises in childhood. We become jealous when we feel that the attention of the mother belongs to someone or something other than us. This is clearly manifested when more children appear in the family. Then, from the outside, you can clearly see how the child begins to be jealous, begins to want to do what the younger does, just "throws tantrums", etc. The same thing happens with adults. They seem to pass from an adult state to an earlier one. Someone even starts to be capricious as a child. The adult also begins to envy that he does not have the full attention of the desired person. Of course, this cannot but anger. I think anyone, you, me, will sometimes even be furious if we do not feel the opportunity to attract the attention of a loved one.

Sometimes the thirst for possession of a person is so strong that ordinary and healthy jealousy becomes pathological. To call such jealousy is pathological jealousy. In this state, a person does not perceive any objective facts at all and is pathologically confident in the partner's infidelity and lack of love for him. In this case, the help of a specialist is highly desirable, but unfortunately, in this paranoid state, people do not always resort to help.

In principle, jealousy is a normal feeling. It is normal to be jealous of a husband or wife when ambiguous signs of attention appear in his (her) direction. This is a normal expression of aggression, provided that aggression is also expressed directly, and not hidden and manifested indirectly. Why else is jealousy okay? We are jealous because we are able to love. If we are unable to love, then we do not feel jealous. In a healthy manifestation of jealousy, we can directly tell our beloved (beloved) that we are jealous and discuss all the moments of what is happening. This allows us not only to partially get rid of the feeling of jealousy, but also to our partner to understand us better, what we feel, what causes jealousy and irritation. And this will already give an opportunity to relate to each other more valuefully.